am i allowed to want this
i know the nudge has come
for well over several decades
but who am i to want?
am i allowed to yearn for
this deep desire i hold
can i take footsteps seen necessary
or are those for others to take not yet born
am i allowed to know this?
is such a worthy goal
even and especially when i know no one
who speaks of this
to be sure…
and when i hear no other
pining for similar views
and when i wait and still there’s no real
evidence of a collective proof
can i still brave the wanting
of this most deepest goal
or is it selfish to believe such
is what my life is for?
and is it possible to hold
this desire i so yearn for
as the very blueprint
of what my womanhood is living to be sure
then would i wait
and wait
and watch for others’ lead
or wonder if my footsteps
are ones just me should take indeed?
or ask in the depths of dawn
in all the hundreds of nights i’ve not slept
not am i allowed to want this
but who would i be if i don’t this way step?
“the lord is my shepherd
i shall not want” ~ psalms
“shepherd, show me how to go over the hill side steep
how to gather
how to sow
how to feed thy sheep’ ~ mary baker eddy