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Feeling Connected Begins Within

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Image by gmayster01 …. via Flickr


I get it.

The huggabaloo surrounding you, the conversations, the attention focus, the ways you’re communicated to…it can all feel some days like you’re this ‘thing’ people talk ‘at’ rather than with.

And go like that a few weeks, months, perhaps even years, you’re likely to start feeling invisible.

I get it.

So very much.

Thing is, the folks doing the talking ‘at’ aren’t per se intentionally disinterested in you.

They’re really not.

They are however probably very self focused and in the midst of creating their lives.

And perhaps they are not completely aware of the value of cooperative existing.

At best you may be important to them but you are surely on their peripheral.

And I get how that can sometimes make you feel removed, distant, and invisible.

Ever feel like it’s time to stop reacting to others’ treatment of you and letting that reaction define how you feel?

Here’s the thing:

None of us are sponges soaking up and absorbing the atmosphere of thought surrounding us.

And yet, this is exactly what happens when we’re not as consciously steering our thought journey as we could be.

No one’s treatment of you or actions separate from you have to disturb your inner peace or your joy for that moment.

So how can we do a better job of not allowing ourselves to react to others in ways derogatory to our lives?

Well, that answer has everything to do with how we care for ….ourselves.

Taking folks aside who’ve speak at us, order and talk dictatorily at us as if we’re staff, their employees, or here to serve their needs and their world may not help, at least not initially.

They may hear our desire for connection as criticism of themselves.

They may hear our desire for depth as complaints about their character.

They may see our needs as demanding and overbearing.

They may well see our depth as insignificant, unnecessary and unrelatable.

And these reactions may further our feelings of disconnect and solodom.


You and I know the need for true connection and heart felt depth are vital.

And you and I know that our desire to advocate our needs with others is absolutely essential for us to feel heard and comprehended.

But that desire begins in thought.

And the connecting with we are seeking needs to begin with relating to the source of our lives, the very cause of our existence.

See, only as I’ve established my thought journey in my thoughts and sought and listened for and advocated for myself each day in that realm have I been fueled with how to navigate relationships.

I don’t tend to my relationships any less, I’m simply not looking to someone else to fuel me, give me meaning, validate my worthiness or advocate my life.

So here’s what works for me:

I pray every morning (and several times throughout the day)

I go deep. I have to. I dive into that land of inner knowing and still all surrounding thoughts and sit still and listen.

And when I’m in that still listening mode, I begin to advocate for myself and for others.

I defend in thought what is the cause and creator of everyone and I insist on my connection–and everyone’s–to and with that source of Love.

This advocacy feels very much like refueling–even if I take just a few moments, and often longer if that’s possible.

And this tuning in and refueling really does ‘quench’ the thirst or need at that moment for defending my individuality.

Then, when I’m amidst situations where I might be pulled to feel talked at, used, or disregarded, I go back in thought to this sense of advocacy. It’s like taking a moment to go into the closet of thought and pausing, without leaving the scene I’m amidst.

And this helps me, so much.

See, I used to spend my days feeling invisible, as if my perspective, my goals, my life purpose and focus were completely different from most in my family and most in my life.

And this caused me to feel often really alone and really different…and really strange.

And of course now I know these to be true: I am really different and strange 🙂 but not alone.  And not disconnected from what matters.

In figuring out how to reconnect and refuel, I’ve healed lots of moments of feeling disconnected and lost or even invisible.

And you know, I can’t really say that others’ actions have changed at all actually.

What I can say shifted is my perspective and how I respond.

And to me that is the whole point.

How we perceive ourselves, what we walk around feeling, truly impacts what we experience.

How bout it?

Time to stop feeling invisible?

What do you think?

Be in touch if you want some support in refueling you.

Here’s to feeling that connectedness to what grounds you and sustains you….

Big hugs. 😉

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{ 2 comments… add one }
  • Tresha Thorsen June 4, 2010, 3:23 pm

    You go girl 🙂 So grateful you've found the blog and are offering your enthusiastic response. 🙂

  • donna June 4, 2010, 2:48 pm

    you are so wise and so right. i'm going to try it beginning today!!! donna

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