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good Infinite

A Mother’s Day prayer of hope and love for every single daughter

Somewhere right now someone is acting out on impulse

And somewhere right now someone else is resisting

The one who acts out may awaken with regret

The one who wrestled down temptation and resists and refutes will may not for hours rest

Whatever mental state we all find ourselves in

Healing comes as you resist acting on every impulse you get

Sifting thought is so vital

Now more than ever

Asking : is this thought love based or self indulgence based can make a lot of difference

Satisfying the senses never provides enduring comfort nor fulfillment nor peace

Nor does it ever give lasting joy but often loneliness and emptiness

Wherever you are on your journey

Whatever you cave to or fight

impulses can be stood up to

Whether they show up as anger hatred self will self loathing self love or even fear and all its lies

More than ever I’m convinced that online behaviors are reacting to an impulse to connect

And while I deeply value what led me here to begin with … the depth of connections happen for us all within the realm of Spirit

A lot has been published recently about the addictive nature of Facebook

And for me it’s a true goal not to keep clouding up anyone’s thoughts

I gained a lot of confidence

By writing and poeming here each day

But there were months I used to think “share a post equals a productive day”

No and no and no again

Productive is how we live integrity

And I no more want to be an impulse reactor nor do I want to others impulses feed

It’s worth sharing though everything I’ve ever online penned

Has been the song of desire for courage and triumphing over fear I sought again and again

Yet this space in recent months has felt so very small

And behavior here so prone to following and watching and I’m not certain such nurtures and leads after all

The first women who published had not a single “reader” til they did

And as for followers

Even that word implies to me some kind of servitude

No one is better than another

Equal all are we

And if online behaviors feed your sense of purpose

I salute you and hug your sense of be

But for me it’s very one sided

No matter a like or smile emoji

I have so much more depth than can be summed up by emojis

And golly I’m finally demanding more of myself

The word publish is a term that has intimidated me for years

The word author has too

And yet duh

They’re both calling at me and have always no matter how much I run or fight down the resistance and fears

I’ll tell you why I pause again and again from expanding

I never ever ever want someone to think “she has answers”

I never want anyone to not push herself to overcome her now fear

I never went anything I pen to seem whoo hoo

And I never want to be followed or feared

YET…I have decided to pursue the writing

And also to use a pseudonym

It’s the only way I can guarantee anonymity

And also no personal following

Oh that we each stop watching

Stop taking so much in

Stop comparing ourselves to others whose journies we can not never walk so why would we wish to be like them

Yes everyone’s journeys matter

But nothing will ever be more important than your precious own

Please for this coming Mother’s Day

mother your thought especially

Please go offline for days or weeks

And listen to that inner nudge steering

Please weigh every pull that wants to impress or gain attention or says “looky looky at me”

Please weigh every doubt that wonders if you are significant and/or even matter

You will always be vital to me ?

Look up often and look past the clouds

Rainbows are a constant thing of we remember the rays always shine

Whatever the physical senses testify is only ever the surface story

The currents hidden pulling you to overcome (fear doubt self pity self condemning) are the threads of your HERstory

If you don’t listen to them, and don’t respond, however will they be sewn?

Please be so gentle

With your precious heart

Rebirth renew rediscover

How truly vital and wonderful you are….

If no one reads what I publish well then that’s really not my why

My having done it after all

Is the true goal …and truly the why of my whys

I’m never one for outcomes

For the journey is moment by moment

And when you are already convinced in Love eternal

You truly can BE good Infinite

Here’s to that journey….

Tender love to you…

#wearealldaughters

#mothersdayweek

#myheart2yours

#spontaneous_poeming

#goodinfinite

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