Pausing to take a look at the why we are doing anything matters so very much.
Sometimes there’s not a clear why but we’ve chosen something based on what we thought was right at the time we chose it.
We live amidst a culture that is ready to throw out and pitch or change when dissatisfaction occurs.
And yet, 2 weeks ago we witnessed a forced horrific change on the community of Port Au Prince and it affected me deeply.
The night before the earthquake, I’d decided to relocate south. I feel at home in the south…I’m sure I will end up there.
But the night I was to drive off, something nudged me to stay put.
And now I get why.
In unpacking my car and sitting still, I was able to not only learn about the earthquake but stay tuned into the various relief efforts going on.
But more…I was able to sit still, pray to support that community, pray to support friends troubled by that issue and other issues, help clients, and really cut to the heart of some things that have not sat well with my own choices.
And while I’m not certain I will find many who agree with me here, we are each and all a lot deeper than we allow ourselves to communicate or share online sometimes…and same with our sense of fulfillment and our peace. In short, we may think we pine for a place….or a certain type of quality of living, or a certain physical location of being.
But in truth? What matters infinitely much more is where we are choosing to locate in thought.
I am pushing myself more than I ever have in the past.
There are a ton of immediate goals I have that do not require shifting a proximity or do not require shifting much about life.
If you peal back all the layers of thoughts about what you think you need for happiness, the truth is: we each and all have all we will ever need right this moment for that joy.
A mentor friend has often said to me “We will never be happier than we are this moment.” And believe me, I’ve fought that statement so very much.
But the point is this: there’s a great need to dig deep within one’s heart and find all the infinite resources right at hand that at any moment any one of us could choose to exude.
I’ll be the first to admit I feel more me in cutoffs and flip flops than ski pants and layers. But this layering is what I must do for the now to stay warm.
I’ll be the first to admit I so gravitate to tropical flora and fauna, sunshine 10 hours a day and brilliantly blue skies with billowing clouds vs grey days, dead looking foliage and at best snowy slushy icy grounds.
I’ll be the first to admit when I’m not struggling for a sense of peace among my externals, I feel freer to create and write my heart out.
But, be that all as it may, sometimes the sitting still, the sculpting out peace right where we are, the vying and defending for our own right to inherent joy matters deeply more than just upping and changing the externals.
So it’s really a time for me of digging deep….regardless of what the outcome may hold…..for my now, defending the peace that is mine, the happiness that is mine and the undisturbed ability to love that is mine….and as I’m defending this for myself, I’m defending it for everyone.
None of us have to define how we love, our joy, our peace of mind from externals.
Sometimes the struggle to exude them even in the most trying of circumstances makes us stronger.
More than all else, I seek a mindfulness that allows me to be open to helping others and offering my love and my ability to give whether that help be metaphysical support or practical supplies.
Focusing on those goals, honing in my expression of them, these are my now moves.
And defending the peace that comes with that decision.
What helps you stay grounded, defend your peace, and feel undisturbed amidst so much surface upheaval?
Would love to know.