The following scenario may well be true for me or you. It’s based on an actual series of ruminations that have occurred within my thinking often and much.
Below I offer the inner dialogue– the ruminating — and then I’ll break from the dialogue and show you how I reason spiritually to break the imprisoning stronghold that’s happening in thought.
Finally I’ll offer how to be in touch if you are wanting help healing feeling stagnant or stuck within your thinking.
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Scene: Anyone engaged in ‘but-what-iffing’ — that inner dialogue that ensues when we listen to and respond to fear of fulfilling a goal, taking on a project, making a change with our lives.
…the dialogue may sound something like this…
Well how will I know if it’s okay?
It’s okay, of course it’s okay. You can think. You get good ideas. This is a good idea.
How will I know if I’m allowed?
Are you allowed to breathe?
What if I’m not allowed?
Don’t be ridiculous. If you must, go find the legal right to ensure you can do this.
What if it’s not okay?
Um, hello? We’ve addressed this.
What if I’m ousted?
What if you are?
What if it’s not mine to do? Maybe it’s too hard to do this by myself on my own…
Okay. And so you have had this idea for 20 years just because???
What if someone else can do it better? Yep, I bet that’s it… there’s gotta be SOMEONE ELSE who’s ya know MORE EXPERIENCED and MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE and KNOWS HOW that can do this…
First of all, you’re not 12.
Second of all, anyone else’s doing it would be just that. Their doing it. Not yours. You won’t be satisfied. You must do it.
Third of all, are you kidding me? More knowledgeable, experienced, etc? Since when has that ever been the criteria for taking a risk?
What if it’s too hard and I am never done?
What if I don’t like it after I start?
Are we done whining yet?
Wait…how the heck do I know I really wanna do this?
Maybe I don’t wanna do this.
B R E A K! Gimme one please baby, gimme a big break. Puhleeeze!
Maybe I need to dwell and think about it ya know a few more years….
Nah, nah….been there done that babe. Get on. Next…
What if I can’t get it all done?
What if I’m not able to do it all?
You can stare at the mountain and dream about hiking it or you can take a step.
Every step is you hiking. Forget about the peak. Take a step.
What if I fail?
Did you even consider not trying to walk?
What if I lose everything that’s ever mattered to me in the process?
What else really matters love-bug?
What if everyone thinks I’m nuts? And what if they think I’m completely losing it?
Uh, hello? Mcfly? They do already.
Okay, well, what if I run out of desire?
20 yrs is a mighty long time to wanna do sumthin girlfriend. Desire doesn’t seem to be waning anytime soon.
What if I get totally sick of this?
You may….You just may. But kinda doubtful given the subject matter dontcha think?
What if this is a really stupid crazy lousy idea?
Do you really want me to believe that?
What if I paralyze myself in fear?
Um….I’m looking over the last few years, and well, I kinda think you already sorta did….
What if I can come up with 1,000 more what if’s so that I never start?
You very well just might….
What if I’m so used to wanting to do this but absolutely have just been all talk and no action? What if I’m this big loser idea person who only talks about stuff and never gets stuff ya know started let alone done?
Do ya really believe that luvbug?
What if they start thinking I’m the woman who cries wolf?
What if they already do?
Who’s this infamous “they” and who really cares?
What if…..what if…..what if….what if i lose everyone and everything and every single solitary anything that has ever mattered or will ever matter?
Um, didn’t you already?
What if I am interfering with the natural order and unfoldment of my life if I start steering?
Wait. What if I’m not supposed to steer?
Is it steering? Or is it finally consenting and responding to being steered? big difference. big.
What if I’m supposed to just sit and think?
Okay…yeah, let’s try that. Let’s just sit here….
But…What if? But…What if? But…What if?
Okay. That’s not working.
Oooooh I need a glass of water.
and a jog. No. a run. A run will be better.
The faster I go the faster I can come up with a solution. Or, no, find one. Yes. yes. I’ll find one when I run. It will come to me. I just know it will. I’ll go for a run and it’ll clear my head.
And, when I come back to this studio, I’ll rearrange the furniture.
Yes. Fresh setting. Fresh view in here. Then, I’ll calm down. Ya know. Get more settled.
What if I don’t need to clear my head or have a fresh view?
What if I can just ya know, start.
Hmmmmmmm.
Ahhhhhhhhh. You just may be onto something.
But what if I don’t know where to begin?…
Are you kidding me?
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Discussion of dialogue:
Sound familiar?
Okay, maybe not exackatackally but sorta kinda?
At all?
Well if not, please don’t let me bore you.
But if so, giggle with me.
Do you hear the pattern of imposed procrastination that worry, doubt, fear and second guessing grip us with?
Yup.
That is the dialogue — the inner turmoil and murmurings that have had me running around and around and around on the mental habitrail for far too long to admit.
At least yet.
Ya know. Because what if I get stuck again and run around and around and around on that mental habitrail some more.
I can’t completely profess to be fully free of this onslaught.
But I’ll tell ya something.
I know this onslaught isn’t my thinking.
I know this onslaught is imposed huggabaloo that aims to hault my progress and footsteps.
And yours too.
Because I know I’m not alone.
I know clear as I type you have your ‘but what ifs’ too.
Agreed?
Well, here’s what I’m seeing, and I offer it not thinkin you don’t get it already, heck you prolly already do, but, maybe you feel stuck. Or, maybe you can relate to the above and can tuck this up for if it ever happens again.
The “but what iffing? the dwelling in ‘but what if ville?” It completely haults and stagnates forward movement.
And forward movement is our natural inclination.
We are drawn to being.
Not just drawn to thinking…but acting on that thinking outwardly.
We are drawn to expressing.
Outwardly.
Tangibly.
Giving form to the pontificating and thinkering that motivates our innermost inklings.
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How I squelch the but-what-iffing
So, here’s what I’m doing: I’m taking these “But what ifs” and haulting them before they end their sentence.
Yep.
I’m stopping that thought process before it haults me.
And I’m stepping anyway.
When I look back on anything and everything I’ve ever done that mattered?
It was well in spite of the but-what-ifs.
and everything I ever didn’t do that I haulted because of but-what-iffing?
Well, it’s either kept nudging me to do it or it faded.
There’s something oober awesome about being totally purely innocently honest and humble with your innermost desires.
They’re like your infants that you simply just can not in good conscience neglect, even if the but what iffing tries to insist you to.
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Support as you say goodbye to dwelling in but-what-if-ville
So here’s me opening up my heart and my inklings to you the reader and offering this:
If you find yourself stuck or mentally paralyzed in this vast black hole abyss feeling like you’re falling deeper and deeper into unknowns and have but-what-iffed yourself silly, pause with me.
Take a deep breath.
And ponder that the but what iffing is actually not your innermost heart of hearts talking.
And decide now, today, this moment, to start ignoring them…the but what iffings.
And more than ignore, after you try that for a while?
Start refuting them.
Start telling them you’re not listening. You are done with their space and you’re moving on to dwell in BEING-ville and DOING-ville.
And if you need a boost holler. I’m right here stepping stone by stone and thought by thought to Being-ville too.
We are sooo much more ourselves when we get outa dwelling in but-what-if-ville.
Promise.
Need a listening ear to chat about your whatiffing?
I’m so right here and I’ll listen intently and giggle with you and hold your hand and offer what’s helped me break outa the prison.
Big hugs to you.
And always, thanks for being here. 🙂
Tre ~