Happy Halloween and how I’m trying to be unaffected by the boo of regret…
If you look at your choices…
Not the motive but the choices…
And what you’ve actually chosen…
Do you see a pattern of trying to please?
Does it make you wanna run away and learn a new way to feel fear free?
My heart to yours:
what I see time and again?
As I’ve chosen to please…
I regret my choices in the end.
And if I try to not regret
or convince myself to let it go,
Then I see a record of pleasing and it is rather unsettling
so…lately…
what I am doing is hugging my heart so deep…
And holding myself gently
and saying right now…
Today…
This moment dear Tre…
And what does it matter if a choice was to please or make proud…
A decision is a decision and that action matters even if it’s unsettling and nothing you’d speak of aloud…
Maybe a tender lesson I am learning still
is that any action at all is better than dwelling in
“but I dunnoville”…
Do you know that place
Have you been there too?
I know these lands so very well
“Lemme wait-and-see-ville”
“I dunnoville”
“Time will tell-ville”
“I’ll know more later-ville”
Maybe you’ve visited them a time or two,
Maybe you’ve dwelled there recently,
Maybe your there now too…
What is different this time in looking back
Is I’m not bashing myself or allowing the heinous inner bully sabotage me and call me names or threaten me with how dare you regret…
What I am actually retraining* (how to heal) my thought to do:
Is to cherish that I acted out of Love and decided
rather than wondering
“Well what should I do?”
I believe deeply every moment
we know what we need to know
And tomorrow?
we will absolutely know more than today
Tis how we grow!:)
So beating ourself up for yesterday is really a silly thing to do…
But we do it nonetheless
And get stuck there sometimes or often like me
Standing still between
how could I?
and I dunno next what to do.
Or maybe we look at our choices and feel like we are a mess.
Yet really what we maybe need to see is we are learning to stop living a life that pleases and that insight should be celebrated not filled with regret.
There’s another road we could walk down …
It’s called
“Be love-ville”
And I bet you know that road well
I bet you’ve walked it much even amidst choices you maybe regret if you listen to your heart and stand still.
Lemme share with you here what I call my inner roi
It helps me silence the pulls of self condemning and helps me heal the paralysis of regret or bashing of how could I?
Inner roi:
Was I loving?
Did I try my best?
Was I honest in the doing?
Did I bust down fear with every step?
Was I genuine and unselved?
Was I striving to be growing?
As I see then that I say yes to most of those questions
Then see?
Regret has zero power to boo it’s influence on me… Or haunt me with second guessing…
And yup there’s prolly several dozen things I need to do better or even change…
But I will strive to silence being motivated by regret this time
and embrace openness to a new way…
Wherever you are love bug reading:
Please promise your heart you will pause after reading this poem
and do some soul searching and really seek to see:
Are you in” I dunnoville”
Or stuck in “Lemme wait-and-see-ville?”
Are you heading toward “someday-when-ville”
or believing better is waiting for you in “some-where-ville?”
Then stand up
Roll up your sleeves
And advocate spiritually for your precious thought:
With oneness anything is possible
You’re not ever alone unable or unaware and you have nothing to fear except choosing to
Doubt yourself
Or wallow over the past
Or wish you knew more then you did back then.
But how bout right now at last
I promise you whatever you choose today you may feel pulled to regret tomorrow
But
Once again you will be taking action with your precious you and all you know right now in this moment’s hour…
Ohhhhh do I know well the life that sits and waits…
To be stronger
To be better
To know more
To be more brave
And yet Ohhh when I hear another’s view of me
I learn all the ways that dear one has seen me accomplishing loads of courage victories
Ok
So
Hug your heart and cry through the tears with me
If you regret anything further it’s only that you allowed yourself listen to regret’s boo’s and hissing…
Be so willing to hug you whatever you’ve chosen…
And expect you will know more today and tomorrow and be willing to do some tinkering and adjusting.
Never stuck.
Never alone.
Never an idiot.
Or an imbosul.
Always able to hear our heart
Always able to feel whole and complete even when or if external things seem to be falling apart.
Why because we are each one with Loce and S/he won’t allow us to our yearnings and true nature become numb.
Here’s to mommying the moment (just one!)
and being fear –and regret–free.
Myheart2yours,
Tre ~