“And Freedom?…Freedom is just some people talkin…
Your prison is walking through this world all alone…” ~ Glenn Frey, The Eagles
Some nights I can’t turn off…
This is one of those nights…
So I choose to poem it out…the heartfelt feelings and fears…
It’s 3:00 am and I am still up praying.
I do this often when I can’t find sleep a worthy excuse for staying…
and being AWAKE
to these pulls that ache at me so…
Truly am I sad that another musician who’s impacted me so much has journeyed on…
Last week David Bowie
And this week Glenn Frey
Indeed I’ve never met either one of them
But yet there’s a pull within that wishes I would have been able to say…
for the epic songs…the lyrics the melodies the music…
for the creativity that endured…
THANK YOU for never listening to criticism enough to let it calm or quiet your creative pulls
THANK YOU for poeming lyrics that got me through many highschool and college days of deep soul searching
THANK YOU for creating music that has lasted throughout a few generations almost effortlessly…
Yet there’s so much more that I want to say than a thank you and heart felt hug to Glen or David
I am feeling lately a deep yearning for defending how to create and build and endure a life that leaves a legacy
and to do so without anyone really knowing…
Because one of my favorite things to do
Is having someone’s deep empty and loneliness feel it’s just received a hug and yet no one knows its because of seeing someone’s wholehood and truth.
What loneliness the Eagles called Desperado’s prison, I so seek with my life to say in thought is where you find freedom…in thought is where you fight — if you choose to — the abyss of loneliness and alone and all it’s claims and defend to no end your oneness with Love….
That wrestling and warfare I’ve faced time and again and each time I fight down the fear with the truth of my oneness, and win, I know its possible for anyone anywhere…and that to me is a legacy worth sharing…somehow…
Why does this question pull at my heart so much of late?
I do not know except it seems like I’ve perhaps counted years a bit too much
Like sizing up what’s been accomplished in the past decade and such.
And like all things we think, each tender thought no matter what it says comes to be dealt with.
So with every accusation I dont have much to show for a decade,
I face thought and bulldoze the accusation with the truth
That living moment by moment and thought by thought much fear has been overcome and limits and beliefs of inadequacies have been overcome too.
How do you capture in an instagram the launch of fear free?
How do you capture in a book even the publishing of a love lived journey?
I dont know and I am perhaps seeking to learn a bit…
But just because we can not always show in a tangible form the growth and accomplishments of a life
Does not make the life any less value or importance but we must learn how to and then value how to measure growth in thought…
So for now I’ll keep this spontaneous poem unedited fresh and raw
I don’t believe I’ll ever achieve — nor wish to — the fame of an Eagle or Bowie…
yet do I seek deeply to be doing the work that moves the ages onward….that moves thought through so much more…
If I can through my writing and life give one person that much more hope
to know with deepest certainty that fear can be broken through healed and overcome than I know I’ve achieved true womanhood, a life of living proof.
And if in my days I can be a promise that every heart matters
That every face no matter what color or cleanliness or what threads its dressed in is worthy of every grace of human kindness,
Then I know that I will have done what I earnestly seek and hope
Being love IS creating building and expanding a legacy
Moment by moment
Thought by thought.
Tender thoughts from a vulnerable at times heart,
God bless us all,
Legacy building questions I am beginning to ask daily:
How will I use graciously my rights of reason, conscience, and self government? *
What will Love have me do that is of most meaning today? of most service? will do the greatest good even if and as that means self care this hour?
What fear did I master today? What limit did I overcome? Have I met someone new? Did I say hello and smile and engage with someone I’ve never met before today?
Did I connect with loved ones today? Did I connect with friends today? Did I serve my work as graciously and committedly and unswervingly as I could today?
“God has endowed man with inalienable rights, among which are self-government, reason, and conscience. Man is properly self-governed only when he is guided rightly and governed by his Maker, divine Truth and Love” (Mary Baker Eddy from her work Science and Health, p. 106).
Sharing the lyrics of this song because I relate to them so deeply muchly at times…
Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses?
You been out ridin’ fences for so long now
These things that are pleasin’ you can hurt you somehow Don’t you draw the queen of diamonds boy
She’ll beat you if she’s able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can’t get Desperado, oh you ain’t gettin’ no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they’re drivin’ you home
And freedom, oh freedom, well that’s just some people talkin’
Your prison is walkin’ through this world all alone
The sky won’t snow and the sun won’t shine
It’s hard to tell the night time from the day
You’re losin’ all your highs and lows
Ain’t it funny how the feelin’ goes away? Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin’ but there’s a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you
(Let somebody love you)
You better let somebody love you before it’s too late