What would it take to stop apologizing?

Hey friend…

Got a question for ya:

What would it take to stop apologizing?

To yourself….to others…

….for being where you are in life?

What would it take for you stop apologizing to yourself that you are not further along in whatever it is you are pursuing?

What would it take to stop apologizing to family for not having any inclinations toward what they hoped would fulfil you and / or  for knowing your now choices disappoint them?

What would it take to stop apologizing to your friends or your spouse or your partner or significant other?

I’m asking for a reason:

The moment I figured out what it would take for me to stop apologizing to myself and others was a huge turning point.

It meant waking up without feeling like I was late at 5am.

It meant not feeling guilt 24/7, 365 days of the year.

It meant not beating myself up mentally, physically, emotionally.

It meant being able to see each day as an investment not a heavy weight of indebtedness.

It meant no more writing apologies in my thoughts to everyone I assumed I’d ever disappointed.

It meant a softer, gentler, kinder disposition with myself as I went about my moments.

But not always.

At times, the pull to apologize comes back.

But I know enough now about it’s source to ‘get’ how invalid it is.

Here’s what I wanna offer:

If you can take some moments to think through what would have you stop apologizing to yourself, that’s the first step.

Maybe you loathe some decisions you made about your past.

Maybe you loathe that you are not further along in your now.

Maybe you can’t erase the memory of some horrible thing you did..to yourself..for a while.

Maybe you were addicted, abused, violated, victimized.

Maybe you were heinously raised and mistreated growing up.

Maybe all of that.

And I wanna say I’m hugging you because me too.

But I also wanna say this:

We have this very moment.

This very moment you are all that your thoughts wanna focus on.

And you can choose that mucky muck sum total of your history view…or you can choose to see this moment right now as the beginning of a whole new story of your life.

A blank page.

A new beginning.

Or if that’s too loo loo sounding, you can see this moment as what it is: full of a right now opportunity to try…again.

It took me forever to realize that.

It really did.

It didn’t matter how much I heard it.

I had to actually mean I take my hand, hold my heart and say “Tre, honey, today this moment is a new day. And you get to begin. Right now.”

And it took a ton of effort to forbid my thoughts from dwelling in the past. And I can offer how I did that and what worked for me.

But doing this for a number of hours turned into days ….and days turned into weeks..and pretty soon? I was apologizing less and less and less.

Because I wasn’t walking around feeling guilty 24/7.

So I want that for you for anyone…that realization that apology doesn’t have to be the lens through which you see your life.

So again friend I ask you to think about: what would help you stop apologizing?

Here to listen and offer what helped me,  if that could help you.

Eager to hear from you in the comments or however you choose to be in touch.

Big hugs.