When memory hurts, loving ourselves becomes vital work

It comes outa nowhere. You’re going about your day, taking a walk, you receive a call from someone who maybe things haven’t always jived well with, you feel strong, you answer the phone, you hear their voice. And whammo.

It’s there.

The memory.

The pain.

The what happened.

The how could that have ever ever ever ever ever ever happened.

The how could I have let that happen.

The how could he/she have done that to me.

And all the years and / or months of self care and feeling free and possibly even forgiveness seem like someone else’s dream.

And for a few moments you feel like “hello? wasn’t that healed? why am I feeling like all of that just happened.”

Okay.

I am so with you.

Been there.

So. When memory resurfaces pain, does it really mean we’ve made zero progress?

Nope.

No way.

What it means?

You’re gonna dig this.

We have more work to do.

Breathe.

Sigh.

Why?

Well, that’s the whole point.

When we learn to love ourselves, and I’m not talking the weak, regretful feeling like she or he was wronged selves, but our substance, the stuff we are through and through, our core…when we set out to love that true nature?
It’s a life long commitment.

And one that requires the awareness that every day is a new day.

Every hour is a new hour.

And memory will try to lure us to think we’re right back when the event happened emotionally growth wise.

But we’re not.

We’re about the right now always.

So….

Couple things that help me soo much when memory taunts and lures to dump on ourselves blare:

1. Remind yourself you are in the right now moment.

2. Hug your heart and defend that you are clear, receptive, aware, alert and you are about a life that is perpetual steps toward living goodness–more and more of it.

3. Defend the heck outa the fact that right now, this moment, you are not who you were in the memory’s forecast. You are not who you were back then. You’ve grown since then, strengthened since then, forgiven since then, forgiven yourself since then.

4. Staying in the right now then, you can resist the pull to even look back into that memory, no matter how harsh it was.

This is especially difficult when the memory blares we lost something precious and vital to ourselves:  a loved one, a career, our home, our life. And yet, all that we are about is within us. Circumstances, settings, and even people change but the who we are is a progressive bud of bloomability that is ever expanding and growing one petal at a time.

We have within us all that we need to feel comforted and safe and cared for 24/7.

When memory suggest otherwise and lures us dwell on the wrongs done to us or the wrongs we did, really strive to shut up the memory and defend what is true about your right now.

If you need help with this, I hope you will be in touch.

Here to help you free your heart of the pain of memory of loss or betrayal or wrong of any kind.

You deserve to feel the love that you are about, the bounty of good that comprises your life, and the inevitable progress you are making.

Please comment below and I’ll look forward to being in further touch.

Here’s to cherishing your heart, holding your thought in the right now moments and feeling free from the lure to relive memory.