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Am I allowed?

Sometimes it comes as a whisper…

Sometimes it’s more loud…

But ever the constant inner bugger of a question…

Am I allowed?

It shows up in the most basic ways…

And tends to always linger…

Always trying to steer my thought…

And ever striving to impose fear.

Am I allowed?

Am I allowed?

It shows up whenever

I’m tip toeing following my heart…

And this has been a theme

Many a year now…

Roll your eyes if you must ?

But I am ever still seeking healing.

Owning permission is not a one time quick fix realizing.

A visionary I’ve been called…

An idealist by others…

Yet nothing I see gets done

When I am paralyzed by the doubt this question imposes.

So …recently… I began to feel it taunting my thought….

And because it’s so familiar

I opted instead to face it down.

And I noticed some other thought patterns…

And rejoiced when I did!!!

See, I’ve faced down this question many a time before…

By owning the immeausureable worth of living permission.

And then — as I gave myself permission yet again to follow my heart…

There came again the taunting inner bugger question “am I allowed” to hault my walk…

And so it’s occurring to me that this ebb and flow I seek

Of following my heart, owning permission, and living love I continually (and thus fulfilling all I dream)

Will take many a wrestling with this inner question of doubt…

So rather than apologize ?

Or pretend it isn’t there

Why not take stock in all the ways I’ve thus far bulldozed it’s attempted hault and overcome fear. ?

And then I thought,

“Let’s pen it out…”

“Let’s write out all the ways this doubt shows up…

And all the ways I confront it, and overcome it and how…

And then what it takes to step further and onward each hour each day somehow.”

And so today this morning brings me again to this page…

To poem my heart out

and silence the way doubt tries to suffocate.

It’s a journey for sure when we edit our thinking

And strive to daily…hourly…overcome all the doubt fear and hesitating.

But we must !!!

For we know that following one’s heart

Requires momentum,

step by stepping,

courage,

trust,

love of our precious me

and endurance to persevere from the start….

So friend reading, my heart with yours,

Wherever this finds you,

know that I’m right here with you…

Striving to know that voice of Love that leads,

Striving to still thoughts in order to that voice of Love hear…

Striving to hush and silence all that interrupts its nudge…

Striving ever to see through the lies of fear and gently step onward…thought by thought.

My heart with yours

Oh how we must

Following our heart demands all the courage strength wisdom purity grace and innocence we embody as our true substance.

If …on your journey of allowing and owning permission,

If…on your journey of overcoming fear and to all doubt (for that now) saying ‘good riddance’

If…on that journey you find you need a listening ear….

To outpour to even the smallest or to you embarrassing or the biggest and darkest of fears…

You have one right here in my heart with yours

Reach out…

Connect…

Outpour….

Share with me…

And I’ll listen unconditionally

For I’ll be striving to see you through the seeming limitation that is only a temporary belief and not your real stance…

and I’ll hold your thought hand …

And listen more tis true…

And I’ll offer what helps me overcome doubt and fear …thought by thought too.

Tender appreciation for reading this…

Deep respect for your journey…

Warm hugs for being here…

My heart with yours,

Tre ~

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This poem was penned just now spontaneously, only edited for typos and siri mis spellings ;0)

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