A candle glows because I let go…
The flicker and flame reminds
to live light, hush the shame…
The tender ways we nurture our dream …
A pause from same old same old routine…
of finding security and safety in the familiar …
Anyone can exist in a day and make it all seem perfect…
A refusing to any longer fuel the pulls to seem …
(it’s not that hard to courageous …whole …complete …secure… safe) appear …
Yet all the while knowing full well I was avoiding an inner “but I matter too!” from another dream that seemed to be crying out for help and rescue….”
and then scooping that dream up and cradling her so….
And giving her the tender nurturing care she needs if she’s gonna be able to stop crawling, use of her legs to crawl then stand and walk and and grow…
…. even when and especially when there’s not been any way to make sense of or talk about it…
How many of us hold dreams within we hold as an infant and rock?
The lessons I’m gleaning abound right now….
Ignoring what we are being nudged to do for fear we won’t get another very important to us project done …
or telling it
“I’ll deal with you later when I’ve proved I can…”
Or telling her –the babe dream within –we aren’t sure we’ve earned the right to embrace her fully –which is the bigger truth if I dare to admit…
All of that shunning and pushing it aside….
Is a way of neglecting and abusing… suffocating and disallowing…
our precious selves … no lie…
and I for one can’t be a pawn anymore for all the other goals I cherished before…
They’re dear to me too… but teens by now for sure
Some have come together
Some have not
But it just simply won’t do to ignore this infant other…
It’s just not honest
I can’t give tangibles yet….
or at least I choose not to…
because I will never care as much for what your external looks like…
As I do care about the thoughts you’re consenting to…
So let me share a few insights of support right here
In hopes a poem can feel like hand holding for embracing the dream you cherish so dear….
When…
supposed to
and
should
and
Lemme wait and see
Show up in thought…
When
maybe someday when that happens to me
Or
I dunno if I’m allowed
Or
“How can I do that as just me”
Try to sway and steer you
From being and becoming all you’re meant to
and
When you recognize these suggestions
And cave to their hault
Of all that you want to live and to suffocate all you are
It’s kinda like staying in a staccato –going nowhere slowly — inner marriage….
of thou shalt not break from these goals to which you once said I do…
But it’s not as simple as asking “is that working for you?”
Which can be a shameful question and condemning one too.
There’s layers of expectations
and wanting to make others proud
and wanting to live who we thought we were supposed to
And you can’t simply snuff allegiance to ideals…
For that’s the core of who we each are!
But dear friend reading
We can
And we must
Give and own permission
To express those ideals authentic to our me
And be true to the who we are
And when we ignore the inklings or blow them off
When we forbid ourselves explore them bc we don’t know if we are allowed
When we keep saying
“I’ll do that someday
Or
“I’ll face and deal with it later”
My golly ….
That when we have to stay alert…
For consenting to that behavior is like a mother who turns her back on her infant …
(the one who most needs her)
Please hear my heart….
This stuff is not easy
This inner work is not for the minds who want it all safe and secure the way it’s been….
This deep honesty of giving yourself permission….
Of cradling the inkling and saying to her no more lovey one will I abandon
Well it takes for me the most courage I’ve ever had…
And yet with it tender moments of unplanned unforeseen wow’s that make me so grateful and glad…
Please with all your light and might listen to that nudge
Please allow her
and give breath to her
and live the permission to evolve what she needs and wants…
For in doing so you put a stake in the ground
That your view of how you see things matters and so does that of each girl and wo/man.
Build and be what you see
Love the love that nourishes possibilities and dreams
Look at your experience and treasure all you’ve overcome
And see why and own that and live it and trust it again and again.
My heart with yours…
Tre ~
~~~~
The above poem was penned spontaneously doubly after praying and meditating and getting thought still and seeming in what ways can I share what’s been so healing for me
These poems are how I love like a gift to the reader
And yet there’s deep metaphysics behind each one and I’m here to support your journey
If anything you read resonates with you and you wish to learn more about how I pray and step and stand thought by thought each hour tis true
I would love to hear from you.
Please send an email to tre@thoughtbythought or leave a comment.
Tender hugs for reading and being here…
May you feel able … allowed… approved
And may you follow your heart and be all you dream to.
Hugs and more,
Tre ~
