This photo was added upon taking a run earlier this evening…from my iPhone…there was a time when I once thought I’d never be able to capture the images I saw with my heart…sharing any photo is me bulldozing the condemning I used to feel that my images weren’t “good enough.’ 🙂 share your images, your heart, your how you love. it will always matter. it is always vital. and you precious you are so invaluable and needed. Love, Tre 🙂
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A spontaneous poem…about confronting all the derogatory that echoes within…Every single form and tone of “That’s impossible” and “That will never happen.” …
It can come out of nowhere
This feeling of paralysis
Every idea I’ve dreamed of
Suddenly all of them feel undoable
Every goal
Every yearning
Every how about this
All of it sounds so overwhelming
Like a mental tsunami has hit
Nothing makes sense when everything once did
Everything seems harder than before and more so than it ever did
When this totally every moment feels hard
Overwhelms me like my now
I take stock in the fact I know this cloud is mental
And I pray myself through it all somehow.
I’m not sharing this now so anyone will pat me on the back and say everything will be okay.
I’m sharing this because no one talks openly about when nothing at all makes sense.
And some people will see what you’re doing
And think wow you are so brave
And others will see what you’re doing and think “are you kidding me you’ve given your whole life to this and you’re still getting nowhere slowly.”
And most won’t really be commenting authentically because I seldom ever show
The real work that goes on in my thinking each moment every day all day long
The battle I wage hourly
Is one of refusing to consent
To the belief that I am or anyone is ever lacking a single thing.
And of course the evidence says much the contrary to that.
It infact condemns the every breath we take
And it absolutely insists we lack everything…every ability, every opportunity…everything of meaning.
And that we will never get closer to achieving or attaining it any goal so why bother.
So when this dark cloud comes over me…
And I feel gluttonous for ever wanting to achieve any of my goals,
I get very quiet
And I pray silently
And of late I’ve been offline so many days and more often than most
I am 100% certain that everything worth doable is impossible
Yet why cave and cower to the “that’s too hard”???
Why not start there and prove that conclusion irrational.
Here’s to BUSTING THROUGH paralysis, oh the mental kind.
Here’s to being the role model for generations unborn that won’t know the difference between what gender achieved what
They’ll just see accomplishments of human kind.
My heart to yours,
Tre ~