This post is part of a series in Mommying our hearts…
- Image by FabulousMasterpieces via Flickr
Have you ever thought about the many ways the role of mother/ motherhood touches lives?
I’ve thought about it so much, so so much.
And with that pondering, I’ve thought about how I can be a better ‘mother’ to myself and to others.
Motherhood is vastly more than a relationship shared between a mother and her immediate offspring.
Motherhood is a constant presence of love and support, compassion and comfort, which we can turn to and exude 24/7 any-where, to anyone, especially for ourselves.
What do I mean?
Well, think about it. Where do we dwell 24/7?
In thought.
(You’ll hear me write about this all the time. It’s my total goal that you wrap your arms around this concept–dwelling in thought–b/c it’s there — in thought–that we make the changes we need to–first– to have the kind of lives we yearn for ).
So dwelling in thought, we’re not just sitting on a bench waiting for things to happen, feelings to emerge, or emotions to outpour.
Dwelling in thought we can take proactive steps–intentions –to evolve the kind of disposition we seek to live throughout the day.
Where does mommy-ing ourselves fit in?
Dwelling in thought, we can be very aware that sometimes we go about our day humdrum.
Other times we go about our moments with great intensity and put our thoughts into overdrive.
And still other times we put our thoughts into function mode, just get through this mode, just deal mode, just cope mode.
Usually, those are times when we’re battling fear and don’t want to admit it to ourselves, or anxious about something or burned out and spent about something else.
It’s in those moments when mommying ourselves is vital.
Why?
Because without the presence of comfort, it’s easy to become numb to life when we face toughies.
Do that enough times, you wake up one day and feel like you just spent several years ‘existing.’
How to mommy our hearts
I like movies. But I prefer being engaged in action.
I adore stories. But I prefer to be writing them.
I like listening to music. But I prefer to be dancing to it.
Point: In chosing to engage in the moment, I’m experiencing fully the event.
Same in thought: By choosing to proactively comfort ourselves when we’re scared, patiently support ourselves when we pain over something, hold our hearts when they’re broken, tenderly calm ourselves down when we’re enraged–all of that is what I think of as mommying ourselves.
Simply stated: we make a conscious choice to engage in proactive thoughts that support what feels broken, empty, anxious or enraged within.
The result?
Complete focus and attention on caring for yourself rather than wait for or look for some external influence to give that support to you or take the place of that support.
Why does it matter if we mommy our selves or let someone or something else do it?
Good question.
And I’m nodding right with you.
And I’m also aware I can’t answer that in a neat and tidy sentence.
But I will offer this: to the degree I’ve learned how to mommy myself, to that degree have I learned how to care for myself and not impose my needs or wants on any external influence. And this gradual growth has given me confidence, calm, contentment, completeness.
It’s calmed the panic about the uknown.
It’s filled the broken feeling that would otherwise wait for something else to fill it up.
It’s forgiven me yet again when I’ve done something completely foolish.
It’s comforted me when I know that I’ve been wrongly treated.
And so on.
No matter what kind of family you grew up with or have now, learning how to mommy yourself is a 24/7 guarantee that you will feel less alone, you will have fewer moments of feeling clueless on what to do, and you will have patience with frustrations that used to make you run.
And that’s not half the benefit. 🙂
For me, this is how we embody the grace and purity, strength and genuine unconditional love in one another’s lives.
And this is how we will forge deeper lasting connections with neighbors and our communities virtually, locally, globally.
So how bout it?
What’s your take?
Here to help you better embrace how to mommy your heart.
Thanks so much for being here…
Til the next post…:)
