Thought by thought . . .

“Willingness to become as a little child and to leave the old for the new, renders thought receptive of the advanced idea. Gladness to leave the false landmarks and joy to see them disappear, –this disposition helps to precipitate the ultimate harmony.” ~ Mary Baker Eddy

Some days it feels like we’re waiting to be told.

Some days it feels like we don’t know who to ask.

Some days it feels like there’s no waiting, no one to ask and every step forward is a leap.

But what if there is a perspective that finds you:

a. never having to wait for an answer to be given to you from an external source

b. never having to feel you have to ask someone/anyone/something to give you that answer

I’m talking about permission to be the you who you are.

You may be rolling your eyes here and going “gimme a break.”

You may be clinging to the next word.

Whatever space this post finds you in, let me offer this:

I’m beginning to shed the authority/permission/parental paradigm where I’m the child and I’m waiting either to know how to ask or to wait for their answer.

I’m shedding the whole ask for permission model.

Hard to admit, but it’s been there.

And I can also admit to the years of waiting that flash by when I haven’t fully owned my right to be.

Here’s the thing:

We’re never too old to grow up:) and we really haven’t lost anything when we have a nudge of inner growth.

No one can tell you how to let go of that yearning for permission.

But here’s how it comes to me.

I find myself asking internally:

“Am I allowed to do this?”

“Will I be safe if I take this step?”

“Is this okay…like this?”

“Am I doing it right?”

“How can I be sure that step is the right step to take?”

“What if I take that step and it totally flops?”

“What if my choice was wrong?”

“What if I fail?”

The problem with all of this?

It posits a definitive right and wrong, a reality where good and bad are dualing powers, a possibility that chance, not principle, is governing thought and action.

Left without a certainty, and I’ve been there much, we can get stuck in not deciding, not choosing, and paralyzed in staccato living.

I call that place stuckville.

Now to be sure no one wears a sign saying this.

Imagine?

“Hey how ya doing?” could turn into “Hey I’m doing what I’ve always done and pretty good at this and even though this isn’t feeling my now anymore I know this and I’m used to it and so I’m staying here. Yep. That’s right:

I’m choosing stuckville b/c then I don’t have to decide.

I am choosing wait and see ville b/c then I don’t have to choose.

I’m dwelling in what i’ve always done, even though I’m not sure that it was right then, but it didn’t ‘not’ work. So it can’t be that it was that wrong.”

Again I’ll ask: what if there’s no right and wrong?

What if there’s only now (ps there’s only now)…

and what if there’s only who you are now (and ps there’s only who you are now),

and what if there is freedom in being the who you are not, not obligation to holding onto what you thought you were supposed to do or how you were supposed to live? (ps there’s only you now and what you know you are to be)

I’m beginning to not only live these truths but stop asking ‘what if’ and start BEING that way.

So…it’s subtle, right? And it’s not an overnight wham bam no more permission will burden me ma’am…but bit by bit, if you find yourself waiting on any level to ‘know’ if you’re allowed to do something, go within to that little child in your heart, mommy her/him, daddy him/her, and remind yourself to breathe, to BE….

Here to help you, hold you and support your footsteps because I sooo get it.

Big hugs for the journey….