What To Do When Feeling Stuck, Alone, and Going Nowhere

Feeling stuck? Again? In spite of all you’ve read…heard…even tried to implement in order to move forward?

Is there something deep within making it hard to even admit to yourself that you really are…stuck?

Okay.

Good news.

You’re not alone.

Not only have I been there countless number times, you literally are not alone. Even right now. As you read this. Even if you’re on your own.

With no one in sight.

You’re not alone.

There is a presence, a universal intelligence that is nudging your steps, even now….even when it feels like you have no clue what to do, where to go, what to change or how to change it.

I know that immobility can feel really, really hard.

While I can only speak from my experience, I’ve been stuck often enough to have recognized a pattern to this kind of thinking.

See if any of what I call triggers to feeling stuck sound familiar:

• the belief/feeling you’re all alone: in your endeavors ..interests…passions…and ideas about how the world could be.
• the belief/feeling that no one really will comprehend your ideas/goals.
• the belief/feeling you need a bunch of external ‘signs’ to give you some kind of universal nod of approval that you’re doing fine.
• the belief/feeling you need the nod of approval of people who you respect and admire.
• the belief/feeling that without approval from ‘those folks’ you should absolutely rethink your goals.
• the belief/feeling that you’re aimless with no well defined long range 10 year, 5 year or even 1 year plan.

Okay. I’ll stop there.

Here’s the deal.

I’ve recognized a strategy these triggers use to get us to buy their bait:

They try to convince you that you are vulnerable, weak, and incapable on some kind of level of making a good decision.

The triggers almost always show up whispering suggestions you well may be vulnerable or sensitive toward.

Suppose, for example, a thought occurred to you suggesting in order to do anything productive with your day, you first have to paint polka dots all over your face. You would probably laugh out loud and scream “That’s ludicrous. What a ridiculous thought!”

You’d immediately dismiss it and go about your day. Ridiculous lure, unthinkable argument. No sale. You move on.

But sadly, that’s not how triggers work.

• They come to thought much more subtly, often in the guise of  your own voice.
• They wreak havoc with your sense of confidence, courage, and conviction.
• They posit an idea that should otherwise seem just as ludicrous as the polka dot pitch but only seems more convincing because they nail you where you’re most vulnerable.

So, you need to do a few things:

a. Start recognizing the patterns they play in your own thoughts.

b. Refuse to bite their bait.

c. Be vigilant about believing any of their scenarios.

For it’s when we take the bait that we’re often dove-tailing into that abyss of feeling stuck and alone and going nowhere.

For example: Suppose you are going about your day and you hear in thought this trigger belief:

“There ya go again, no plan, wasting your days, no real productive outline of a 1 or 5  or 10 year plan. What the heck are you doing with your life?”

The moment you hear this trigger thought, your mental radar should go off and alert you to refuse to consent to what this trigger thought is suggesting. Refuse to accept that you’re aimless without a plan. Refuse to accept you’re going nowhere with your life. Refuse this thought. Why?

Well, for one, this will hault the conclusion of feeling stuck and empty.

For two, more often times than not, gross generalizations of your character like this are simply inaccurate. Perhaps you do not have a long range plan. But perhaps you’re not the kind of person who needs one. Further, the lump summation that you’re a wasted life is just simply not true. No one, not a single one of us is a wasted life.

Refusing to consent to the trigger thought haults it from running its coarse.

Feelings don’t just come over you.

Nothing and no one dictates your feelings.

You choose every moment what you are going to feel by giving your consent.

No matter how dark, no matter how empty, no matter how alone.

If I accept I’m going no-where slowly, have no plan, am living an unproductive life, I wear that cloak 24/7.

And then the resulting effect happens: feelings of aimlessness, emptiness, and worthlessness ensnare and before I know it, I can be duped into thinking I’m a completely worthless baffoon of an existence.

In other words, once the initial consent, there’s no stopping the lure of blackhole emptiness.

BUT!!!!!

Those trigger thoughts are NEVER the only option to give our consent to.

In that place of stillness in thought, there’s a perpetual quiet nudging voice…almost like your best friend advocating for your substance and life and worth.

That inner gutt nudge that knows better is to me your real rudder. I like to think of this as that permenant, unrelinquishing stronghold you and I have with the universal Mind or Spirit that establishes and governs and maintains all reality.

Sometimes, sifting through the triggers that lead to feeling empty is really the exercising of our ability to get past their muck and discern what that core inner rudder is saying.

This is not positive thinking. This is not ignore your weaknesses. This is a call to live out your spirituality on a moment to moment, thought by thought basis. And this rudder or intelligence that steers your true substance is always supporting you, always feeding you with ideas that sustain, comfort, provide courage, give guidance and wisdom, strength or whatever you need to move forward.

But we can’t tune into this rudder when we consent to the triggers of self doubt, fear, or condemnation.

It is a choice…which voice you will discern and heed. But the results of sifting thought and discerning that inner rudder are so very worth it.Far from getting stuck or feeling like you’re going nowhere, discerning the nudges of that inner rudder will not only make you feel like you’re moving, but absolutely inseparable from a sense of purpose and meaning.

Give it a try.

Or comment on what’s working for you.