A friend and I went strawberry picking and arrived only to find the fields were closed due to short supply. We were invited to purchase the ‘already picked and carted’ kind.

A wee bit disappointed and a wee too much caught up in the shoulda coulda wished I woulda’s barking at me saying I shoulda called and checked before driving the hour’s distance, I paused and looked at my thoughts.

Disappointment, regret, guilt, frustration– all that muck — was trying really hard to sway my joy and get me down.

Right then in that moment I affirmed that the only power in control EVER is the goodness of Divine Love and I could evidence the wonder of this right now even though my assumed expected outcome wasn’t happening.

I took a brief jaunt outa the farmer’s stand area and to my surprise there were a whole cluster of baby billy goats playing in a fenced lot just off to the right of the barn.

I watched them in awe and began giggling out loud. They kicked up their heels. They nuzzled their noses. They do everything you can think of and more to play.

And they WANTED me to watch them. They caught sight of me, snuck behind their trees and mini barn sleeping den only to peek back out in a moment’s notice as if to be sure I was still watching.

“Hey. Psst. You . There. Yeah, You. Look at me frolick and play and skip and sing and soar. Wheee. It’s so fun. C’mon. Join me.”

I paused some more and looked at the wonder of that moment.

It was as if the billy goats reminded me: maybe this journey had zero to do with strawberries and picking and everything to do with reminding me to expect spontaneous good and the abundance of wonder in my days and moments.

I ran back into the market to grab my friend so she could partake in the glee. I didn’t have to. She was already fully engulfed in lapping up her own wonder: a bowl of strawberry shortcake with whip cream to boot!

A few moments of just watching her and I witnessed the same frolicking play as she leaped from stand to stand half selecting produce to purchase, half giddly lapping up her delicious treat.

She was in zero need of a lesson on sponteneous wonder or giddyness. She was fully partaking in that moment’s glee delighting in the wonder of her shortcake.

I returned to the goats and watch them play some more.

And as I did I felt that choked up feeling a bit like you do when you wanna partake so desperately and yet there’s that stronghold feeling of you have sooo much to let go of before you can ever feel so free.

I tried to let all that go…..
But I felt resistance to their play…because…um…well. It’s been a while. Too long to admit actually.

In all my strivings to live my best life, I know a looming rigidity is still there, still sizing up my moments and my days and wanting the summation of my productivity so an appropriate assessment can be made.

And more, I jog..but I haven’t skipped in a while.

I drive an Suv..but it’s been a few years since I rode my Honda Shadow.

I’ve ‘managed’ the days, but I’m very much aware the gloom of 3 weeks of solid rain has weighed heavily.

I’ve made lots of strides in my writings. But I’m also very aware I’ve held back so much.

In those moments of witnessing the billy goats’ play, something shifted sweetly for me.

Something nudged me to remember: it’s vital to frolick and to leave ourselves open to those nudges.

Commitment to fulfiling goals does not have to impose rigidity, hardness of hearts, or rob us of our natural inclinations to childlikeness and wonder.

But all too often of late for me — as much as I’m striving to shift from this tendency — I’ve trudged through lots of my moments answering to this dictatorial micromanager–as if I’m obligated to that….or as if any of us are.

The truth is Divine Love is outlining our days and moments. And I find great giddyness in remembering this and striving to keep thoughts open for that spontaneous good and play.

My friend didn’t question or second guess her shortcake. Nothing in her was barking “No no! No desert til after dinner.” She even let herself skip around while eating. Nothing in her barking “Thou must sit at a table with napkin and fork when eating something that may spill and stain.”

Now I eat on the fly constantly and have zero issue with standing while doing so. I’m not speaking to that per se.

I’m speaking to any influence in thought that inhibits our billy goating.

So…this was a tender reminder:

We all have the right to sift thoughts, see which are imposing rigidity, harshness, hardness, top down micromanaging.

And we all have the right to ask: Is this serving me? Is this allowing me breather room to play?

And, if the answer is no, we all have the right and the freedom to figure out a different way to manage our moments.

I know for me, in just the few days since, I’ve scheduled in a half hour of play into the day…it’s that important to me.

And more, it’s reminding me that the Love that governs our moments is gentle, firm, patient, tender, kind. It doesn’t bark, dictate, scold, punish, or blame.

And it’s hugging all of us 24/7.

So, in the wonder of right now, we can frolick…we can play peekaboo…we can dive into that playful spirit and be giddy.

No matter how serious or focused our workload, we can play.

So how bout it? What works for you? How are you scheduling play into your moments?

Hey there…Hope you are well..Happy Monday and a moment of new beginnings.

I’m givin somethin’ else a whirl..just trying it out…a way to add the dimension of voice to Thought by thought.

Have a listen and see what you think….

Monday’s Moment

Enjoy this moment…treat it with hope, awe, wonder, and intend that same anticipation of glee that the child exudes…Imagine the possibilities !!!

Much joy and love….

A neat thing happened this morning: my Twitter friend Harry (@smosco) sent a video he’d recently created “Moments of Solitude” and as things are in the wonder of now, I was drafting a post about nurturing our right now moments. So enjoy as you read on….

I’m staring out at a very damp and moist rainy day, celebrating the care that the flora and fauna will feels as they quench their thirst for an overdue drink

I’m touched by the recognition of how the rain cares for the flora and fauna.

They’ve not per se reached out for it.

They’ve not per se barked loudly “Hey, we’re thirsty, Bring on the rain!”

But there it is…quenching their thirst, moistening the ground all the same.

Have you ever noticed that in life, we get the same kinda quenching and moistening?

Lately I’ve been giving a lot of thought to what supports, nurtures, and adores each one of us…how we can each be more mindful of letting ourselves feel that influence 24/7.

You know? For me, that “letting myself feel’ nurtured, adored, cared for has everything to do with how I base my day, how I base my moments, how I acknowledge what is governing the universe.

Each and every morning and several times throughout the day, I take moments–sometimes at long length, sometimes just a few–to establish in my thoughts what is owning the moment, gracing and steering and caring for my life, carving and sculpting my moments, my being.

For me this power is a sense of universal Divine Love, not only caring for me but for each and all.

And when I begin my days aligning my thought with the constancy of its care, something major shifts.

All sense of me having to figure out, me having to be the architect, me having to be the sculptor, me having to be anything lets go.

Instead what pours in is this knowing that my days and moments are about listening to the nudges that come deep within, heeding them, and walking forward one step at a time.

How do you nurture your now?

When thought is still, we are calm.

When we’re calm, we can open our hearts to listen.

When we listen, we can hear…

What we hear differs..but the constants come as nudges.

We get still, calm, open our hearts, our thoughts, listen, and we hear the nudge.

Sometimes just one. Often many. But those nudges nudge us: ‘take a step’…”know this”…”defend that.”

Hearing a nudge and heeding it are two different things.

What’s the truth: the nudge comes. The nudge nudges.

It’s one thing to hear a nudge. It’s another to act on or heed it.

So for today’s Tuesday truth: the nudge comes. It always comes.

The nudge is that inner deep knowing on many different levels.

Keeping it simple, it’s our direct one to one communing with universal Mind or divine Love. It’s our core, it’s what bases us, guides and governs our steps.

Hearing it is one thing.

Heeding it another.

But it’s always there.

So how are we heeding it?

What works for you?

Ever notice how much there’s a constant pull “Oh, if only I knew this….or if only I had experience in that…then I’d be able to do ______.”

Sometimes feeling like we don’t know enough to do what we want to do–and do it well–can make us disheartened.

But it doesn’t have to.

We can switch the nature of the statement from a plea to an affirmation.

Right now, I know enough.

Right now I know what I need to know.

Try it.

Close your eyes and say it.

And believe it.

Watch how much tries to laugh that thought away, accuse you of being ridiculous, and ridicule you into not even trying it.

But here’s the thing.

The affirmation “I know what I need to know” is a spiritual fact.

We are each expressions, thoughts of divine Mind.

That Mind knows all. By expression we reflect that knowing.

Surely we don’t profess to be the divine Mind.

But we can approach life day in and day out with affirming that we do know, know enough, and are able to know more as we need to know it, on any issue.

Try it.

You just may be amazed by what you realize you do know or do know how to ask for what you want to know.

The point is we know enough right now to make any decision we need to, take any next step–as small as it may be, that we need to–figure out anything we want to, even if it means seeking out more information in the process.

And what’s more, as we defend that we DO KNOW enough right now, all the complaints, condemnings, accusations or whatever that might spring up if we settle on “I don’t know enought” vanish. Why? They have nothing to hold onto, no buy in.

So try it. Take an hour, a day, a week and live from the conviction that right now you already know what you need to know.

And have fun!

So how was your weekend? From the outset as of Friday night, mine was lookin a little bleak:

a. My blog’s feedburner feed and subscriber link stopped working.

b. My email wasn’t configured properly to my iphone and needed adjusting.

c. The plumbing broke.

d. And yet again, it was another grey, rainy, rather chilly forecast.

Wahoo! Sound like a recipe for a fabo weekend???

But it actually was! Each one of these scenarios was an awesome occasion to prove stability, confidence, and resolve!

Honestly, when small or biggie things used to erupt, here’s how I dealt:

1. Dwell.

2. Ruminate.

3. Blame self.

4. Dwell some more.

5. Blame some more.

6. Get angry.

7. Feel stuck.

8. Stay stuck. Add to it a dash of major complain.

9. Ruminate more…at least til a simmer.

10. Bring to a boil and feel exasperated!!!

Yuck. But true.

Hard to admit. But used to consent to that drama when stuff happened that felt too hard to fix.

“Here we go again! One more thing goes wrong. Nothing ever can just work in my life. Blah Blah Blah.”

But a bit ago, I made a conscious decision: STOP playing the victim. STOP consenting to helpless weak woman that has a ton of drama.

Now I’m sure a part of you can relate, right? There is a tendency among women to blame themselves. We are warriors when it comes to nurturing and caring for our own and for those we love and for those around the globe we have compassion for. And while that’s awesome, there comes with it a constant pull to feel responsible, feel there’s more I could have done, should have done, wish I would have thought to do, etc etc.

Hear the themes?

Good motive of loving, nurturing, caring, helping…but when outcome doesn’t measure with expectation, or when something goes wrong, feelings of  blame, self condemnation, guilt, and anger emerge.

Not healthy.

And more, not at all a part of our inherent nature.

No one yearns to act a victim.

It’s a habit.

It’s part of what we tolerate and accept for ourselves.

It gives us a drama, something to whine about.  It gives us gossip. It feeds our need for having something to stew on.

And even if we justify it and say “oh but I don’t talk about it” we ruminate. And that surely gives us an excuse to not problem solve.

So back to my commitment to cut the crap.

Literally.

I made a real concerted choice a ways back to S T O P:

S ilence

T he

O ption of

P ity.

ON EVERY LEVEL

So …for me..No self pity.

Translation: No consenting to victimized woman. Period.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, on with the story.

I implemented my new problem solving method — because along with my STOP (Silence the Option of Pity) Plan, I had to have a SOLVE IT routine.

And for me SOLVE IT stands for :

S olution

O ptions

L ie

V irtually

E verywhere

I ntend and

T rust

So…gentle steps…..here’s my 4 step SOLVE IT plan:

1. Affirm Solve IT! (see above ) The underlying spiritual fact is that the divine Mind is governing all things at all times and by reflection we are able to know what we need to know as we need to know it.

2. Write down what comes to mind as natural, unintimidating possible next steps to take.

3. Sift and weigh

4. Take action.

So I will keep this brief re: the delicious dilemmas of this past weekend:

1. I calmed down, knew there were solution options, knew I would know what to do as I needed to know.

2. I wrote down every possible step to take which was really very simple: call tech support on all issues (and 2 of these scenarios required me finding support online); and call the plumber.

3. During sifting and weighing, I actually strive to do what I least want to do first. That gets the tough stuff outa the way and makes the rest of the fixing stuff more fun!

The one thing I really resisted was the plumbing. I loathe it when stuff gets wonky with plumbing because of a lot of times in the past that this has happened (different housing). So I called the plumber, albeit on the weekend. This required shutting up all the doubting “But it’s the weekend.” “But you’ll disturb him.” “But they’re gonna bill you.” But But But….NO BUTTS!!!

After getting that lined up, I set to work on troubleshooting the other technical stuff.

4. I dove into taking action. And things were rocking and rolling with one issue, and the other two were not moving forward a wink.

And that is okay. Sometimes in the midst of taking action we have to remind ourselves of SOLVE IT all over again.

As much as we need to,  keep affirming “There’s a solution and I’ll know what I need to do when I need to do it.”

When it came to fixxing the email, I remembered I could ask a few folks I knew at that moment (visible through the chat window) if they’d be willing to test an email message with me. Of course they were! (This mini solution right there shut up the doubt “but who’s gonna be right at her computer?”).

In sum, all was fixxed within the weekend. And at each and every step, at each pull to consent to feeling stuck, I knew I could  STOP and SOLVE IT!

How bout you? What works for you to shut out the drama and SOLVE IT?

So…Here we are again…in the midst of our moments. And we feel like we’re progressing:

• we’ve created a vision for our life we feel is authentic;
• we’re moving forward to fulfil our goals;
• we’re meditating and maintaining a sense of self care regularly;
• we’re choosing to spend moments constructively.

Things feel pretty rockin’ and rollin’.
And then we get a phone call.
And stuff is said, accusations fly, anger flares.

We hang up.
And we feel it immediately: huge, deep tidalwave of pain rise up in our hearts.
And the pull to consent to a flood tide of emotions is overwhelming.
And we consent. And our emotions erupt.
“How dare her!”
“Who does she think she is?”

Pausing, we recall our intention. And breathe. But raging waves of accusations (idiot, loser, weakling) crash down, engulf us in a surge of hypocrisy for believing past negative patterns could ever be expunged. Drowning in a whirlpool of anger and guilt and loads other dark feelings, we gulp for breaths of justification: haven’t we made ANY progress?

Very suddenly, the storm winds cease. Internal anguish laps to a moderate calm,  seasprays of decades of pain cease to sting…and our hearts begin to calm as well, rocking back and forth with the ebb and tide of life.

Tidalwaves of emotions exhaust, infuriate, and try to wash away any hope of personal growth and progress sometimes.

But it’s okay.
There will always be situations in our lives that trigger our darkest emotions.
And it really is okay.

We are allowed to hurt, and cry, and get angry, and pace, yell and howl at the moon, and walk through all those regrets of wishing we’d never picked up the phone…or made the visit…or gone out of our way to maintain a relationship…or driven 2 days to show up to rules and systems and conditions and rigidity, and cold empty fake obligatory hugs.

We’re allowed to breathe. And remind ourselves it’s okay that we tried yet again.

But after a real lull, we even may begin to wonder:

Does it always have to be a tsunami of emotions when our lives interact with certain people or circumstances?

Is there always gonna be our inner struggle with the triggers of thought toward those people/circumstances?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, pause with me for a moment….and consider this:

If you’ve ever meandered on a trail near a pond, you may well encounter a cloud of bugs that last for a few yards.

Annoyed by the friek inhaling a few or having a couple get stuck in your eyes, you rush walk out of their cloud.

Or maybe they’re not completely gone but you figure a way to clear them away from proximity with your face.

Notice the scenario: pleasant, calm walk interrupted by cloud of bugs triggers irritation and frustration. Walk ends abruptly.

Think about this: did the bugs cause our frustration?

Or: did our thought about the bugs and their bug cloud cause the frustration?

Point: what triggers us into that sea of emotion isnt the people, the job, the circumstance per se, it’s out thought about the people or circumstance.

Triggers are NEVER the people, the job, the place, the circumstance.

Triggers are ALWAYS thoughts about that person/people, job, place, circumstance.

So. Consider: can you predict the bug cloud? Can you predetermine which paths have them and which don’t? (well maybe, but who does this on a spontaneous afternoon stroll?)

While it’s unlikely we can predict where the bug clouds hover, we surely can prepare our thought to not react so deeply so upon any encounter. And we can surely choose to stop going where we run into the most bug clouds.

Exploding with emotions doesn’t mean we haven’t progressed.
What it means is that we still have some work to do to address how we’re gonna respond the next time we encounter those people, that job, that place, that circumstance.

But hold on.

This is not quick fix: change the thought and have a happily ever after relationship, career, home, whatever.

Oh if it were only that easy. Only 1/2 kidding.

Truth is, sometimes, just seeing someone that we’ve experienced pain with before triggers us.

Or just going there. (insert anywhere you’ve felt rules and obligatory imposed opinions or coldness and authoritative or dictatorial conditions).

Or just doing that work.

BUT, because the trigger happens in thought, it’s healable. Thoughts can change. They really truly can.

So, in being gentle with ourselves, we need to let the negative thoughts go and often this means let go the people, the circumstances first.

So how do we do that?

Take a few moments.

Get into thought and figure out when certain people, things, circumstances make us feel and think things that do NOT support us.

Consider if it’s at all possible to get them/those situations to change.

Consider then just gently starting to remove yourself from scenarios that evoke the pain.

Maybe it’s as simple as “Note to self: do not pick up the phone if _________ calls unexpectedly.”

Or as simple as “Note to self: sell or donate __________ because you are not an antique dealer and not obligated to hold onto things.”

Or it may mean a deeper commitment to your heart by breaking away from unhealthy relationships.

Ultimately, we have to free our thoughts of thinking ANYTHING, any person, power, place, can harm us.

BUT until we do, we gotta be gentle, practical, tender and remove ourselves from that which evokes the hurtful thoughts.

So….

We gotta get into our thoughts, be honest with our feelings and figure out what feels icky, what feels taken advantage of, what feels used, what feels like we are or have been abused, what feels obligatory.

And then we have to work gently to remove the feeling–and it’s seeming source–even if that means

• letting someone go
• moving
• pitching stuff
• moving again
• letting more people go
• quitting a job
• creating new work for ourselves

It’s not only vital to conclude:“This is not supporting my now.” It’s vital to do something about it.

WE ARE ALLOWED to conclude: “This is NOT supporting me.”

And more, we’re allowed to shed that which doesn’t support our now…even if that means letting go of the person or thing while we work on our thoughts about the person or thing.

Remember: everything is always a thought. And what seems to imprison, abuse, take advantage of, use, condemn is ALWAYS our thought about that person, situation, etc.

But sometimes we MUST remove ourselves from the situation.

Trust me, the thoughts will linger.

But rather work out my ability to breathe underwater while in a pool where I can get out of the pool when I choke than try to learn how to swim in the middle of the Atlantic.

Gentle reminder: Right now, this moment, each one of us has permission to shed thoughts that pain, that use, abuse, take advantage of, devalue, condemn, attack, criticize, manipulate, control, suffocate, sneer, fill in the blank with any negative top-down authoritative verb.

Breathe.

Gentle, tender steps….

Being honest with ourselves, not only do we have permission to discern the thoughts that aren’t supporting our now, we have permission to let them go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“There is but one real attraction, that of Spirit.” (Mary Baker Eddy, Science and Health)

Okay, so it’s not always easy. The goal’s there: need to love myself…need to be compassionate with myself.

But there’s that intention…and there’s the moments we’re in right now…

And how can we nurture ourselves when…

–someone’s yelling at us

–we feel unsure about a lot of things

–we take a step forward and feel we’re progressing (on any level) and then something happens and we turn back to prior behaviors and feel like we’re not progressing a wink.

Lemme not talk so vaguely. Lemme just call it:

Nurturing ourselves is ALL about what we decide right in that moment.

It’s a moment of reckoning of choosing of being so conscious that at every moment we DO have a choice….that we start becoming guards of our thoughts more and more and more.

It’s not okay to allow someone the mental or physical space to yell at us.

It’s NOT okay to allow ourselves an ounce more of listening to condemning voices that constantly ridicule or scold.

It’s NOT okay to tolerate being used for another moment in relationships or situations that manipulate us,  try to control us, try lean and keep leaning on us.

No. No. No.

Nurturing our hearts and our thoughts is ALL about getting so clear on what supports and what doesn’t support.

It’s about sensing and asking  what’s holding our hearts or squashing them.

It’s about sensing what choices will feel like a hug and hold our hand while we walk forward vs. which choices will cause us to be constantly ridiculed, scorned, or taken for granted.

Seein’ something?

Seein’ that nurturing ourselves has everything to do with what we allow–and don’t allow–ourselves to choose? to tolerate? to let go?

Nothing just simply happens.

We don’t wake up one morning surrounded by a circumstance that we’re helplessly trapped in. Somewhere down the road we made choices that find ourselves right where we are. And it’s okay. But we’re not trapped–ever. And no matter how stuck we may feel, there are always choices, be them ever so eensy teensy small that will liberate us and allow us the freedom to be and express and live who we are.

Moment by moment, I ask a few simple questions to help me discern whether a certain choice will support and nurture my heart.

1. Does this feel okay?

2. Will this keep me safe? (and by safe I’m very much meaning in my thoughts–the only real place one can ever feel safe).

3. Will this enable me to remain authentic to my life’s intentions…without causing harm to anyone?

All of these questions form a gauge that defines how to nurture me, my heart, my thoughts, my right now.

No one else will ask these questions.

I must. And more: I want to.

How bout you? What do you do to nurture yourself in the right now moment?

Hey to all and thanks for bein’ here and diving in to that exploring our thought by thought journey…

Just to review the past week, we’ve been explorin’ how to love ourselves more consciously.

And we’ve touched on how to:

• have compassion with our thoughts
• be gentle with our steps
• find simple ways to evolve order, create manageable routines.

So today, continuing this theme, I wanna briefly take a peek at how to create intention and establish motives so that our day to day actions stay focused and don’t wander off on their own meandering trail.

Being clear with both is vitally important and allows for being gentle with ourselves.

I kinda look metaphorically at intention as the overall tone for life purpose ..and this can be a huge life long objective or a more specific yearly one. But all of us have to at some point or another answer this question: what am I intending with my life?

Example of my overall intention: to live spirituality day in and day out and to practice healing for myself and others to make the world a better place.

Okay. Simple. Global in thought and scope. Huge.

Sounds lovely. But how does that intention translate into day to day practicals?

Simple. By creating more manageable intentions….and by defining each and every motive before taking action.

And I mean this. Before taking action…any action.

Whether I am walking my dog, helping a friend, engaged in a consultation with a client, or simply saying hello to a neighbor, I’m as aware as I can be about my motive. And I know and I feel and I tense up when my motive is self interested.

We all do.

Sitting in traffic. Standing in line. Waiting. Thought can wander off into the land of the frustration zone.

But if we’ve established intentions and made ourselves very aware of our motives for that errand, that meeting, that interaction with anyone, we can pause, regroup mentally (no one has to see this) and simply reaffirm: “This is why I’m doing this. This is why I’m here.”

Golly I do this so so much.

As recent as yesterday I bounded off to meet a client with the best of intentions. My motive was to bring a sense of comfort and peace and help this client with her situation. 2 seconds en route, hello traffic! So I thought I’d get clever and take short cuts. Hello every city street renewal project going on this side o-town. Eww. I felt it. I felt myself squirm up, glance at the clock, feel trapped, stuck and certain I’d inconvenience this client by being late.

So I do what I do when my thoughts wandered into that land of frustration and irksomeness ..I paused, regrouped remembered my overall intention: to live my spirituality and heal — and then looked at my motive: to help this client feel a sense of her freedom and spirituality too.

Right at that moment I had a choice: either get sucked into the externals (the traffic, the time, the slow moving pace) and react to stuff I can’t change or put my thoughts elsewhere and focus on something else, which is exactly what I chose. In the next half hour as I worked my way through that traffic, I began thinking about something I need to write a bit later and began outlining it in my thoughts.

Pretty simple mental shift.

But the point: had I not been clear about my overall intention or my specific motive, it would have been the easiest thing to consent to the pull of frustration. And had I done that, I guarantee you I would have shown up to the session with the client a very ornery, bothered, irked woman. And I would have vented. And then I’m dumping all my dirty laundry into the thoughts of this client. How’s that gonna help her? Any link to my overall life intention or goal? Nope. No well. Self absorbed, self focused and not a bit necessary to vent.

Whoof! That’s a lot of thinkin’, huh?

And you well may be thinin’ “Who has time for all that blah dee blah when  just doing my best to survive and get through the day?”

I know. I hear you.

But, without those rudders to steer us it’s so very very simple to mentally consent to so many other pulls. And sometimes they’re not negative pulls. Sometimes they’re pulls of distraction to go off and do anything else but what we’ve intended for ourselves and our life’s work for that day.

Without a global life intention and day to day ones, without clearly discerning our motives for the hour by hour to the longer term choices we make, life can meander, wander, just kinda ‘happen’ …and we wake up one day and wonder “how did I get here?” (Talking Heads, anybody?)

Being clear about our overall intention and motives keeps us focused, aware, always about that greater purpose.

So how bout it? Agree? Disagree? Askin’ somethin more, like ‘how can I figure out what my overall intentions are?”

Great! Leave comments below and let’s talk this up a bit…or email me at tre@thoughtbythought.net if you wanna keep it on the downlow.

Thanks for bein here and eager to hear from ya!

Learning to love ourselves is an ongoing, life journey,one I intend on writing much about. But it can start this moment. And it can continue thought by thought.

One of the surest ways to love ourselves is in coming to see we can manage what we think, our thoughts, in gentle, tender ways, like bathing an infant.

Here are a few simple dimple steps that enable us to do that:

1) Caring for our thoughts: From the moment we awake to the moment we rest, thought is ever active. Vital then is to nurture its focus and steer it in directions that support us. What helps me much is caring for my thoughts as I would an infant or my pupp-alove. I mentally dive into my thoughts and see what’s dancin around in there and gather them and steer them gently in the direction they need to be going. Gentle is key. Tender is vital.

2) Practice regular meditation: Whether we’re already meditating or whether we are new to it, developing a regular meditation practice helps us begin to actively care for our thoughts. This allows us to be more and more aware of what is going on in thought and more, helps us to set the agenda for thought to focus on.

Meditation can be simple — just a few moments throughout the day, or can be longer, and can be several times a day.  Making a regular practice of meditating allows us to calmly and thoughtfully intend our day and carry out or fullfil those intentions.

My favorite time to do this is right upon awaking and I actually find my favorite spot on the floor and hug my knees to my chest. But I’ve also meditated while I’m walking, on hold on the phone, or even while I’m driving and doing errands. It’s a thoughtful, focused time when we remind ourselves of the Divine Mind’s control of the universe and of every detail of our lives and remind ourselves of our intentions.

3) Evolving order: We all like order. It helps us stay organized. (imagine that!) It helps eliminate the angst that surfaces when we can’t find something. It helps us rinse the contacts with saline and NOT the disinfectant (ouch!) or know where is the puppa-love’s leash, the keys, the phone, the phone’s charger, and of course the laptop’s power chord. In fact, the more order we create, the less we ever have to have those mini panic ‘where did I leave the dang ______(fill in the blank)‘ moments. And the less we’ll fall into that blame game self critical trap. This one’s simple: ordering the ’stuff’ of our lives treats us gently in the long run.

4) Devote moments to maintaining a schedule that is right for us: A good friend used to say to me “I’m gonna start telling you a time that’s really 1/2 hour earlier than I want to meet because then I know you’ll be on time.” This friend meant well. He was helping me realize that I was striving to fit too much into the moments surrounding our meet up and consistently late for him. (And I might add I’ve been consistently late for a lot of people).

One of the most gentle loving things we can do for ourselves is maintain a schedule we can breathe with. Life gets busy. Stuff happens. Spontaneous good occurs. Maintaining a simple, good for us schedule, simply allows us to be prepared for the unexpected and on time for the expected. Again, none of us like that pressured feelin’ we get when we’re rushing around. Devoting our moments to an intended schedule really helps lessen the flurrying. Sticking with a few gentle routines throughout our day really helps treating our thoughts more tenderly in the long run.

Surely there’s loads more simpe steps we can all do to be gentle with our now moments.

What works for you? How are you practicing being more tender with yourself throughout your day?

Thanks muchly for bein’ here and sharin’….hugs til the next post.