IN004S19 World Bank

“I am able.”

One of the ways I mentor my moments is to understand and defend at any moment: “I am able.”

I — for now — choose to be my own ‘coach’ if you will b/c truth? I’m more honest with myself than anyone.

I know this about me.

It’s a weakness perhaps.

But I haven’t ever been able to fully open up with someone…not about the internal struggles I have wrestling how to be true to myself let alone achieve certain goals. And I’m not certain we ever need to really. I am certain that the more we are honest with ourselves, we can find that mentor within in listening to our hearts and allowing ourselves to give ourselves permission to bare all within.

And I am certain that to whatever degree our sense of faith is practical and our sense of Truth proveable, we are able to find solutions that matter right in the right now moment.

Its in going within and turning to my sense of truth that I have learned to let that sense mentor me and serveas my inner coach, in other words.

And time and again, one of the most important things I begin with is to affirm “I am able.”

It may sound kindergarten like.

It may sound so oober basic you’re like, “Of course, I get that already.”

But you know what knowing “I am able” does for me?

It helps me put on this mental armor to thwart off all that says I’m not able.

And in case you wonder, ‘what do you mean by mental armor”, well I mean wearing that mental thought shield that thwarts off all the suggestions that knock on my door of thought insisting I’m not able.

These suggestions show up barking lots of different versions of I’m not able….like:

“I don’t know” or “I don’t know how” or  “I don’t know where to begin.”

It may argue “That’s too hard” or “I can’t do that” or “No way, Jose, I can’t do that by myself.”

It may argue “I don’t want to do that.” or “But I’m just one person.”

It adores insisting “I have no idea what to do with my life” or “I’m not experienced enough to do that.”

And it argues that stuff especially when I’m cherishing something very near and dear to my heart that I want to accomplish.

And it argues that stuff when I feel like I am finally courageous enough to take some small steps, even when the small steps I’ve needed to take had everything to do with rebuilding me.

Here’s the thing about the “I’m not able” voice: it takes on the voice of all or nothing and extremism.

And it absolutely will try to seal the deal of convincing me I’m not able not only on that hour but the whole day and how bout the whole month and / or try several years…

of…

convincing…

ourselves…

we’re not able.

So.

To counter this tendency and thwart it off, I taught myself that the single most important way to love me when I’m mentoring my moments is to know that “I am able.”

And say it 52 times a minute or 52x an hour if I must.

To me it’s not human will.

To me it’s an insistance that I will live my individuality no matter what.

It’s advocacy of the most authentic kind, even if the best I can do that day is know that “I am able” to moment by moment figure out this grand kaleidoscope of individuality that is me.

So how bout it?

Do you mentor your moments?

Do you begin with knowing you are able?

Could you?

Would value hearing how that works for you.

Thanks for being here.

Til soon, big hugs.

Tre ~


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Mommying me by saying “I love you”

by Tre on January 23, 2012

Cover of "Mother And Child"

Cover of Mother And Child

Do you love you?

Do you love the who you are?

Do you tell yourself “I love you.”

Do you have a specific routine of telling yourself you love her? or him?

How often?

And how do you do it?

Do you hug your knees to your chest and rock yourself?

Do you look into the mirror and stare at your eyes directly and adore and love yourself by telling yourself out loud?

Do you close your eyes and get really still and insist on how much you love yourself?

Are you reading this feeling awkward in any way like you could never be that ‘into’ you?

What if loving ourselves and practicing doing so isn’t being ‘into’ us so much as feeding us?

What if loving ourselves is the very basic most essential way to mommy ourselves and daddy ourselves?

What if loving ourselves is so essential and so basic to our very being that everything in the world would make us avoid doing so or think it absolutely ridiculous, selfish, or just flat out dumb?

What if we practiced it anyway?

I know right? That’s a lotta questions.

I’m flat out convinced we need to love ourselves and we need to embrace the doing so.

And we need to help one another tell ourselves it’s okay to do so.

We need to help one another hug ourselves and adore the who we are.

We need to love ourselves…

and the way that feels the most practical hands on way for me to do this is through what I call “mommying me

I relate to the phrase mommy.

I had an awesome one in my early childhood.

She was tender, gentle, caring, patient.

She stroked my hair when she brushed it.

She caressed me with tender hugs and kisses often and much.

When I was scared she didn’t just say “get the hell over it.”

She listened to me and let me outpour.

And nothing was ever too ridiculous to her.

She’d listen with as much compassion as anyone could have.

And after hearing me sob, and sometimes sobbing with me, maybe a friend at school had called me names, maybe I’d fallen out of a tree I’d been climbing, whatever the ‘owie” in my heart on on my body, there was my mommy comforting me.

For the right now, the whole point is learning how to mommy ourselves.

We dont do this hardly enough, if at all.

We aren’t taught to do this.

We beat ourselves up way too much and yet the very thing that could allow ourselves moments of breathing room and moment to problem solve and figure out a solution in the midst of heart or body pain is just this: putting ourselves in that role of a tender gentle warm and caring mommy who comforts and calms and helps us know we’re gonna be okay and that something will work out.
Saying “I love you” to ourselves is one of the ways I make a daily practice of mommying me.
Will you try it? and just see if it makes you act a tad more gentler to yourself?
In the moment you are about to criticize yourself, could you try saying “Hey, I really do love you” first? If so, I’d value hearing from you….how that works for you.

And I’d value hearing from you if you already do this regularly.

And if you wanna understand more about how to “Mommy me” do be in touch. I’d value helping you understand this proactive way to love ourselves more genuinely.

Thanks for giving this some thought…

Til soon,Tre ~

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here…being

by Tre on January 18, 2012

Focus

Image by Michael Dales via Flickr

this moment.

you are.

i am.

we are.

being.

safe.

complete.

whole.

now.

free.

now.

loved.

now.

adored really.

held.

now.

do we allow it?

do we grant it upon…proof?

and just what is this proof?

what if being is enough proof?

would we allow it then?

what would let us allow it more?

what would let us allow it now?

to do lists?

announcements?

achievements?

says who?

it may well be the only thing that allows us this hold….is you.

me.

us.

being.

measure where thought is.

measure how it stays there.

here. now.

it’ll wanna wander.

and check out.

and look there. at that. and them. and there. and there again.

and see what they are doing.

what they are showing.

how they are…….

and we can go there and look, stare, gawk, gaze.

but what of our here?

now.

being.

will we look there?

here.

this moment?

will we dare to make that gaze matter than all else?

could we?

i think yes.

join me?

 

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Just say yes…..

by Tre01.16.2012

Hey friend…. I’m humming a song each day now….Have you heard it? Just say Yes, by Snow Patrol….only my version of the lyrics thought surely written from a boy to his girl…I’m singing the lyrics to me….As if to say yes to my heart….. Coupla days ago I wrote this note on my facebook profile [...]

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Comfort with Stillness…Refuse to Numb

by Tre01.10.2012

Hello and thanks for being here. Do you ever wanna grab back the steering wheel of your thoughts and stop fear and panic from steering you? Yeah, me too. In the video below, I offer what helps me grab thoughts back, outa the stronghold of fear. I use the scenario of when I used to [...]

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