So you thinker….
and tinker…
pontificate….
ruminate…
and dwell…and fathom…and ponder
oh soooo much more….
And you dabble….
and babble…(much..in your heady of course where it’s safe)….
and you wonder and think….
and pause some…sip a drink….
and you do it all over and over and over again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And you think you have one idea that’s worthy….
so you begin….
and you panic in fear of all that it will require….
so you pretend pause….
pretend pause means….you pretend you’re restrategizing…
when really you’re panicked over what next step to take….
how to amass so much that needs doing….
and amidst pretend pausing….
you outpour to other….
ah….
and stay there.
a longggggg while.
because it’s so much easier…..
so on the spot…right now doable…
right now tangible….
right now immediate….
But you can’t quite ignore the ache…within..the reminds you
you’re still pausing….
pretending to strategize…..
In the wee hours you come to terms with this.
the predawn post midnight hours have never seen such strength and commitment of an honest woman.
And you stand.
There.
And know.
But come the morn, you go right back to the simples again…
because they’re doable….
all the while that inner knowing reminds you
“You are pretending to pause….again.”
And so…..
You own up to this.
You admit it.
and you come face to face with your deepest fears.
And then?
Just at the moment when you feel you can not keep on this hypocrisy of seem…
A hug comes.
And comforts.
And reminds.
That amidst all the pondering and pontificating, all the doing and tooing and frowing,
you are building.
wisdom
discernment
strength
courage
endurance
honor
integrity
compassion
patience (oh the glory!)
and even some tenderness…..
And Principle will have it no other way.
It reminds you humanity deserves more than a band aid, quick fix approach to love…
No 140 characters or status update will encompass all that any of us are able to do….to be….to love….
And you take a deep breath….
And recall a favorite promise “Tomorrow grows out of today.” (Mary Baker Eddy)
And you press on….
Because you must……
It is the only way…..
Hi Hershey…first, thanks so for offering your openness and honest insights and just for being here.:) How did you find the blog? and yes! to Anne of Green Gables comment..well said…:) Hope to keep sharing in your journey…hugs for being here.
This SO TOTALLY sums up the last MONTH of my life….I have spent so much time agonizing over what decisions are right, or wrong, and stress and freak about what cannot be seen. I feel like a floating bobber…. but I have been doing a little better, and I must add my own favorite “tommorow” saying, one from Anne of Green Gables: “Tomorrow is a fresh day, with no mistakes in it, Yet.”
awww….hey margo..thanks for visiting here and offering your response…means soo soo much to hear from readers…truly :)…and i’m grateful the message resonated…sometimes just the writing of these posts gives me that connection…and hearing from others like you makes it soo clear to keep on keeping on…doesn’t it? 🙂 🙂 big hugs to you…
if you’d wanna connect or chat more, you can email tre (at) thought by thought (dot) net…
LOVE that! Feels like you have been peeking into my life and brain…and that you know my heart….<3