At times the pulls of “should happen now” entice us so
Become our why and wow
That we set off in Joan of Arc pursuits
Insisting we can accomplish those shoulds and musts ourselves to boot!
And on the way to master that peak
Along the road of actual life as all that it demands of us to exist week to week…
An unforeseen occurrence appears
That’s of discovering who we really are when pulls to “seem about a purpose” disappear
And the wrestle between what should happen and what is occurring ensues
And the confusion between not being able to fully follow through
And the pause that sees a different view
Not at all a failure or weakness or mess but
a deeper … authentic… being
shining
anew
And though we cling to the but I thought this was what I must do
And though we hold close without letting go, insisting “but I’ve always wanted to”
That pull that said “the should has gotta happen this way, now, today”
Begins to dissipate when true being decides to have her say…
And it’s awkward and hard and feels a bit like neglect or abandonment
When we try to unclasp the tight hold of what we had set out to do, no matter what
But in the total stillness of calm trust
Love whispers two things “I’ve got it all! …I promise… Now let me steer you okay? Stop steering, you must…”
And humbly we fall a bit to our knees
Only to realize that’s been the truest intention all along, that of letting love lead
And so rather than believing we are starting anew…
Love gently reminds us “lovey one I’m simply continuing you…”
And so wherever this finds you
If you feel amidst a transition
Or change of pace or person or place and or maybe a new view…
Try with all your might to not be convinced that the good you have been and are about ever comes to an end…
Or that the all you’ve outpoured quietly with no one knowing, when courage has been your best and only friend
Realize that the paradigm of purpose and position and place that we clung to as familiar and necessary
May need to melt away for us to discover and evolve our true individuality
Which doesn’t need titles, status, place, or mission to be lived as meaningful and real
Shedding shoulds, supposed to’s, and seems — even out of the purest motives and intentions —
will find us evolving our real deal…
Here’s to being our true pelican …