Hmmm.
It’s hushing and quieting and becoming still out there, the winds of #Irene lessening all the more.
And yet compared to other hurricanes I’ve experienced, this storm, dubbed ‘tropical’ by the time she embarked into New England, was really rather gentle.
I wonder now if I could have anticipated a gentle storm, steada feared a biggie bad one.
I confess.
I feared a biggie bad one.
And it didn’t help that New York City evacuated or the subway was shut down.
I prayed deeply for a sense of calm and order, and of course that helped so much.
Whenever I defend the all power and all presence that is divine Love I’m immediately cradled and feel a sense of that Mother Love embracing all of humanity.
And my daily walk is cultivating a greater awareness of that truth.
Yet….inspite of praying for calm and order, I really wrestled a ton of fear.
The real storm I dealt with over the past 48 hrs was resisting the winds within that imposed fear.
Ever realize that?
That you can resist and even oppose all that blares at you to fear?
You can. We can.
Because fear on any level is simply a belief that evil will out master good, and it shows up justifying why.
In this case, suggestions of fear posited Irene’s winds would suck out my windows, tip my car over, and possibly remove the roof.
(Not that impractical of a scenario to suppose since that’s exactly what hurricane Andrew did).
Yet.
I know better.
I know that caving to the assumptions of fear are often the way that we create worse anxieties for ourselves.
So for 48 hours I’ve huddled and prayed and defended the all power and all presence of Love…shepherding me and all.
I’ve sought to feel grounded and stable.
I’ve resisted with deep courage and might the pull to feel scared on any level.
But, I’m vastly aware that my own calm–not my convictions — waivered.
At one point I offered live treatments on twitter for anyone wanting comfort from fear due to #Irene.
That was a great way for me to face down fear. (And thank you @thomasraukamp for retweeting! 🙂
So here it is: sometimes you stand in your convictions, in spite of the fear.
Somewhere in the Bible there’s a great call to action: “work out your salvation with fear and trembling.’
WITH
not after.
WITH.
It’s almost like the fear–the presence of a belief in a power opposed to good–in my thinking–gives me the real homework.
To me the goal isn’t so much “have no fear” as it is, know what you’re standing on and know what are your convictions inspite of what the fears imply.
Somehow I think I’m gonna be dancing the tango with fear indefinitely on different things.
But.
I know that when I refuse to consent, no matter how long it lingers, eventually the pulls toward anxiousness and fear dissipate.
And so today, even though it was a while before I noticed the winds calming, and even though I was battling a sense of fear all weekend, I knew those pulls to feel anxious weren’t originating from me and weren’t my natural ebb and flow thinking.
To be sure, I’m glad the winds have ceased.
But, far more importantly, I’m grateful I wrestled down each ounce of fear knowing full well none could waiver my convictions.
How bout you?
When have you wrestled with fear of late and what worked for you?
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As always, thanks muchly for being here and sharing.
If any of the above ideas resonate with you and you wanna chat more, leave a comment or email me at tre (at) thought by thought (dot) net or follow @thoughtxthought on twitter.
Be well and til soon,
Tre ~ 🙂
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