Thought by thought . . .

Change happens.
We know this.
We’ve experienced life enough to get that statement.
Sometimes we welcome it, sometimes we resist it greatly.
But always we’re reacting. To change.

And often times that reacting causes self reflection.

And often that self reflection finds us drifting into the land of ‘shoulda, coulda, wished I woulda.’

Because changes happen fast. And a lot of times we have to react and adjust fast. And then we may regret choices we made or actions we took.

So how can we prepare ourselves to be ready for whatever change may occur without reacting in ways we’ll regret?

We can cultivate and grow our compassion…for ourselves…for our now…for our right now moments. For each other. For each others’ nows. For each others’ hearts.

How do we do this–grow our compassion?

By really tuning into our inner core conviction in who we are as individuals.
No matter what the external labels (woman, daughter, wife, mother, sister, career title, or where we’re from or what we look like) our core inner—who we are and what we believe—are constants we can fall back to again and again and again.

And this ‘who-we-are’ needs nurturing, needs caring for and tending to, doesn’t matter how seasoned, mature, grown up or not we are.

Nurturing ourselves on a regular basis is what will allow for consistent compassion, especially in the right now moving fast moments. And I’m not talking going out and getting manicures, pedicures, massages, waxes, haircuts, this that the other. Those can be fun but they’re fleeting and only momentary highs for that moment or day or week or til the next appointment.

I’m talking nurturing our hearts, our thoughts, our consciousnesses….tending to how we think, what we think, and strengthening our resolve to get in there—into our thoughts—and weed out the muck that just is not healthy or helpful or supporting us in any which way.

Nurturing ourselves means allowing ourselves the true privilege of sitting still, calmly, clearly, no distractions, for however long it takes, to  LISTEN to what’s dancing around in thought. And to get in there. And to do some weeding out and readjusting.

Now I’m not assuming any of us are thinking anything detrimental, per se.
But I am saying that mental dust and baggage gathers a lot unless we clean it out.
And shutting the door doesn’t help.
We gotta go into those mental closets—our thoughts—get in there, and see what doesn’t fit anymore, the thoughts that aren’t doing us any good, that don’t support us, that don’t tenderly advocate, and toss ‘em in the mental dump.

Thoughts that ridicule (stupid idiot, dumbass, whatever); thoughts that start off with ‘I shoulda” “I coulda” “I wished I woulda”..thoughts that blame, accuse, condemn in any way.

If we wouldn’t say it to a toddler, it doesn’t belong in our mental closet.

If the thought is not a nurturing one, dump it. Out it goes.

Nurturing thoughts are not always lovey dovey cooing.
You know well when you need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and ‘put your big girl pants on.’
But, it’s not a cruel, mean, scolding nudge. It’s a supportive note-to-self kinda nudge.

Cruelty of any kind thought wise does not belong.
Most of us haven’t ever done anything worthy of the self loathing and self hatred and self condemnation that often weighs us down on those shelves of the mental closet.

So get in there and get that stuff gone. Now.

Nurturing ourselves on a regular basis is vital for supporting and sustaining ourselves. We all have innate, inherent tendencies toward goodness, integrity, lovingkindness. And in mentally weeding out the muck that gets into thought, we have the mental freedom to express this inherent nature more readily.

Simply stated: weighed down in guilt leaves you little wings to express your natural inclination toward spontaneous joy, curiosity, and freedom. Weeding out the thoughts that aren’t supporting us allows us to have greater compassion and clarity. And this readies us up to react more thoughtfully to whatever changes occur.

Make a point at some point throughout your day—I adore mornings best and then take time out several times a day as well—to meditate, pray, clear your thinking and listen….and while doing so, get into that thought and root out all that weighs you down.

You can face any change that occurs in your life.

You can do so better if you’re coming from a place of strength.

And you grow your strength through having compassion — through nurturing yourself consistently day after day, and thought by thought.

Give it a try.

Offer what works. Did this post give you a good place to start? Do you have a different approach to nurturing yourself?

As always, I’m here to help, so lemme know how I can…

Thanks for being here. But more, kudos to you for caring about cultivating your thought by thought journey.