Life would ebb and flow if we could just stick to the to do list, get it all done without much self chatter and move from point a to b to c to d….
Would not that be grand?
Hmm.
Perhaps…if that was the whole point: getting done the todo list.
Wait, you say. What do I mean?
Getting done the to do list is not the whole point?
To which I gently respond: well, no. Actually, no.
To clarify: Getting done the to do list is not the whole point…not for me in fact.
But to shed a bit of light on my persona: I am definitely not a linear personality…meaning I am surely not a ‘from point a – to – point z” kinda person.
For me, the whole point is what happens in between the starting and ending point.
or in the background of the discussion.
or in the behind the scenes of the production.
in the ‘during’
in the what happens in our thought while we are doing that to do list…
Why?
Well, imagine with me you begin to set off to do an errand and you’re driving.
And your one errand consists of going to the post office to mail a letter.
Simple enough.
Forget the why you don’t mail it from the home mailbox.
For the sake of the example, you need to get to the post office.
You back your car out, turn onto the street and drive toward the post office.
But while heading, the phone rings and it’s a call from a client you need to take.
It’s pouring rain and you can’t pull over.
It’s also 4:45 and the post office will close and this letter needs to be mailed today.
You take the call.
Now you’re a bit distracted and the inner voice alerts you to pay attention to the road and to make the call short and to slow down because of the slippery roads.
Self doubt ensues and tries to convince you you ought to not be on the phone.
Self condemnation decides to enter the scene as well and affirms you to be quite the idiot you’ve waited this long to mail a letter. that had you mailed it prior You could be home at your desk calmly accepting the client call.
Wisdom intercedes reminding you to drive slowly.
And you hear yourself strive to calmly say hello and engage with the client.
Pause.
Notice.
You are no longer just doing an errand and checking off said item from your to do list.
You are now managing 5 tasks:
a) driving
b) listening to wisdom
c) choosing to respond to self doubt
d) choosing to respond to the lures of self condemnation
e) choosing to to use your voice and engage with the client
None of these items are on the todo list which reads simply “mail letter, buy stamps.’
What’s my point.
Again: the journey is not about checking off the to do list.
The journey is about managing thoughts and squelching fear (guised as self doubt and self condemnation) such that we can ebb and flow …not just to tackle the to do list, but to feel somewhat empowered and engaged and proactively managing our moments instead of responding chaotically to all the minutiae that pours in.
Imagine if while driving and slowing down in the rain you choose to listen to the self condemning voice that wants you to consent to feeling lousy about waiting til the end of the day to mail the letter.
You probably won’t feel free mentally to engage the clients.
You probably will feel heavy and guilty as you drive to the post office.
Alternatively, if you choose not to respond to the self condemnation, and in that very moment recognize victory over one more attempt to barrage you in the deadweight of guilt, this is a huge triumph. This is a managing your moments proactively and productively. And this is the type of thing seldomly rewarded or acknowledged as a vital achievement in our days.
And yet, walk with me down the road of consenting to the condemning thought.
You not only would feel heavy and guilty, you may begin driving faster, feeling irritated, being impatient with whomever you interact with in the next 10 minutes to half hour.
Take that heavy mood into the post office and you’re likely to speak to the clerk in a gruff and frustrated or shall we say less that jovial mood.
Or perhaps you have less patience with the slower individual infront of you and say something cruel or abrupt to him or her….all because you are still mulling around feeling like an idiot you didn’t mail the letter sooner.
You see my point.
I could take each of the situations that arouse and depending on your choice of how you respond this will determine the kind of attitude and disposition you carry with you into the next scene of your life.
Fine if you are on your own at your office or home. You only have yourself to feel gruff or disappointed with.
And while this is unproductive to striving for consistent happiness, you aren’t potentially driving irresponsibly or interacting with the public in an impatient or gruff manner.
But take that gruff impatience out into the public and now your mood is impacting not only yourself but others.
This is why it is vital to become so aware of your thoughts and what you are choosing to respond to and to begin to assess how you are doing managing your moments.
This is why at the close of the day or the hour or the week or the however you look back and assess your progress….if you are not measuring how you are doing squelching the distractors, you are missing a major point of where you potentially are being the most productive or better said could be.
I will be choosing to write on this topic more frequently because I know I used to not measure how productive I was being in eradicating fear and how much at the end of my day I felt unaccomplished if I simply looked at tasks that were completed or not completed.
Our days are not about tackling that to do list alone.
They are vastly more about how we are managing thoughts in our process…how we are going in there, sifting the suggestions, figuring out the influences and what is derogatory and contradictory and what is positive and promotive of our inherent ability to thrive.
If you find yourself getting lost in the sea of competing influences such that a simple trip to the post office becomes a mental onslaught of reacting to various things that occur while on the way there and you wish to have some help with this and learn how to navigate your thoughts and manage your moments, I welcome you to email me at tre (at) thought by thought (dot) net.
You deserve to ebb and flow.
And you deserve to see that process as one of the most productive ways you can invest your moments.
🙂 Here to help you.
Til soon….here’s to a peaceful, productive thought by thought journey.
Tre ~