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Hey…..Thanks for being here and readin’ this post.
So I’m seeing a great need to advocate for being gentler..with ourselves…with each other…
You go about your day and your doings…and maybe you’re on auto pilot, cranking through stuff effortlessly. Cool for you.
But if you’re like me though there’s often a blaring dictatorial voice hugely authoritarian that tends to bark and dictate. A lot.
It sometimes feels like I’m being ordered, yelled at, and scolded if I don’t perform to that voice’s expectations.
Here’s the reality: that voice is not real and it doesn’t need to garner a moment more of my attention or yours.
In fact, it comes as the exact opposite of the way, the manner in which I would so prefer to treat myself and others.
So of late, I’ve been asking a lot: What would compassion do? How would a mothering sense of tender love treat me right this moment?
And I’ve been asking that about anything and everything: from outlining my game plan for the month, the weeks and the days …to the moments I’m food prepping, dressing, or simply walking my dog.
And especially, when I’m driving.
Be alert.
Note to self ….that authoritarian dictatorial voice is not real and does not have the authority or power or intelligence to control or govern any one of our thoughts or actions.
The only intelligence that has any power is that of divine Love. And that voice doesn’t scold, scoff, make fun of or condemn it’s expression–which each one of us really is.
So how to treat myself more tenderly, more gently, more compassionately…these are the questions that are theming my moments of late.
It helps me keep my focus on the moment to moment choices I’m making, on the step by step actions I’m taking, and the tone with which I’m taking those actions.
It absolutely matters.
If I’m in respond to the dictatorial voice, my actions are abrupt, my mood is sharp, reactionary, and my feelings are tight.
If I resist that pull, if instead I fill my thought up with compassion and tenderness, even if there’s a ton to accomplish in any given day, I can take the day moment by moment, and hour by hour and bring that more gentle warm tender self to each thing I do.
Try this: for the next hour, ask yourself “how can I do this more gently?” I don’t know what your this is…maybe your writing a blogpost. Maybe you’re about to give a presentation. Maybe you have errands to run or meals to prepare or phone calls and emails to return.
Whatever the ‘this’ is, try doing it more gently. Let compassion and warmth and tenderness govern the tone of your voice, steer your actions, exude from your thought. And see what the outcome is.
I have a hunch the result will find you a lot more calm, a lot more satisfied, a lot more fulfilled.
There’s such a great need to be more gentle with ourselves and each other.
Start at home with your thoughts.
Give it a try for a day, a week….come back here and say how it worked for you. I’d value knowing. 🙂
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Hey there Laurie..Thanks so much for offering this question…really helps doesn't it?
I also try a bit more: that condemning voice is NEVER ours. It comes guised as that though and uses a lot of subtleties to get us to give consent. Key to throwing off its influence is to stop thoughts when it's rambling, step back and refuse to buy into it, refuse to listen, refuse to give it any life. You know when someone suspicious is trying to follow you on twitter or facebook? Some entity posing as a person but it's really a spam marketing deal? and you opt not to follow? Same thing here. You gotta get into thought and refuse to 'follow'…There's a number of a ways I do this and I'd be happy to chat more if you want about it….Meanwhile, grateful you're a part of this journey to live our moments thought by thought. 🙂
I'll give it a try – thanks for the suggestion. Just being aware of it will make my day better.
I tend to be more gentle with others than with myself – I doubt I'm alone with that! Sometimes, when I'm being particularly ruthless with myself, I think, “Would I treat any of my friends this way?” The answer is always, “no.” Then I remind myself to treat me as if I'm my best friend. That usually gets me back on track and kinder to myself.
Hey there Laurie..Thanks so much for offering this question…really helps doesn't it?
I also try a bit more: that condemning voice is NEVER ours. It comes guised as that though and uses a lot of subtleties to get us to give consent. Key to throwing off its influence is to stop thoughts when it's rambling, step back and refuse to buy into it, refuse to listen, refuse to give it any life. You know when someone suspicious is trying to follow you on twitter or facebook? Some entity posing as a person but it's really a spam marketing deal? and you opt not to follow? Same thing here. You gotta get into thought and refuse to 'follow'…There's a number of a ways I do this and I'd be happy to chat more if you want about it….Meanwhile, grateful you're a part of this journey to live our moments thought by thought. 🙂
I'll give it a try – thanks for the suggestion. Just being aware of it will make my day better.
I tend to be more gentle with others than with myself – I doubt I'm alone with that! Sometimes, when I'm being particularly ruthless with myself, I think, “Would I treat any of my friends this way?” The answer is always, “no.” Then I remind myself to treat me as if I'm my best friend. That usually gets me back on track and kinder to myself.