Hey to all,
I’m a bit whipped after 48 hours of taking in Twestivals all over the globe and blogging some of my many reactions.
Today was hard in ways, simply cuz there’s much I want to do and much that feels like I’m getting nowhere on.
And I noticed this pattern of a lot of self sabotaging going on. So I opted to blog about it and offer to you what helps me when this is going on.
Day in and day out each one of us is wedded to our thoughts…and at times it can feel like our thoughts are the most intimate relationship we’ll ever know: at times our best friend, at others our worst enemy, at times an acquaintance and kinda aloof, at other times a chummy bud we’d hang with anywhere.
Daily, I’m learning to befriend all of her many personalities. And I rather think it’s essential to do so. Burying any of her in a closet doesn’t make sense. Only putting out there a certain persona is like lying. I’m not one way all the time.
In thought I show up. All the time. It’s my 24/7 job. And sometimes I dig who I am and other times I want to dis the me I am or feel.
I’m beginning to think that what matters most is being gentle, compassionate, and adoring of each and every phase of being. There are some constants, you know? The me I feel I am most of the time.
But when there’s anger and frustration, I have to rally to preserve myself. I am not the bantering evil voice. I am not the angry mad fierce dictator that shuns and admonishes or accuses me of being a major F-up.
I am not her. (And you are not her or him either).
The seeming banisher that feels like it’s got a huge stronghold on me or you or any of us is indeed an enemy. And my very security and existence depend on squelching that demonic voice.
But that battle must be waged mentally. There’s not a single ‘act’ outside of my thought I can do to shut it up permanently. Doesn’t matter how much I push myself. Doesn’t matter how much I achieve or do x, y, z.
If unwilling to engage in that mental battle, it’s like I’m making a public announcement on the twitterverse or blogosphere:
“Hey ya’ll: my inner peace is 2nd and even 3rd or 4th to all else.”
Such a statement is a big, fat lie.
The battle must be waged internally.
None of us are the source of evil thoughts. They’re a gross imposition and can be counteracted, fought, squelched.
We are each a fountain flowing from a source that is love, good, truth.
All ugly, erroneous thoughts in mind are impositions….like a mirage in front of you as you’re driving. You get there and there’s no water.
The key is to ponder questions like:
How do I engage this mental battle?
How do I fight the condemning thoughts?
How do I liberate my own thinking from this outrage/onslaught?
The answers are not one lump sum statement I can toss out like a quick fix.
The answers lie in cultivating a sense of who you are spiritually, substantially, and evolving that nature.
To the degree you do, the condemning mental attacks lessen.
Identity is not a summation of life achievements, number of years, or physical appearance. Identity is the nature of your true being, permanent and substantiated this moment.
Mary Baker Eddy, an author I reference much, writes:
There is but one I, or Us, but one divine Principle, or Mind, governing all existence; man and woman unchanged forever in their individual characters, even as numbers which never blend with each other, thought they are governed by one Principle…whatever reflects not this one Mind, is false and erroneous, even the belief that life, substance, and intelligence are both mental and material” (Science and Health, p. 588: 11).
Invest time in cultivating awareness of your infallible, unbreakable individuality.
Root out the muck that sabotages.
Intelligence, strength, courage, innocence, joy, receptivity, spontaneity, beauty, grace–these are the substance of my individuality and yours. They’re not liable to loss or weakness. Neither am I or you.
Get still and listen in the most quiet-est of moments for that inner pull and train thought to stay there…as often and as much as you can. For its from that mental disposition you can squelch any attacking thought and shut it up and out permanently.
Comment back if you want some help or have any ?s
Thanks for reading….Til next post, be well 🙂
Tre ~