Dive in and swim! (unless of course you wanna just ‘wait and see’)

It’s 3:00 pm and the doorbell rings.

You ask who’s there:

“Who d’ya think silly? C’mon over and let’s go swimming!!”

You yell back, “Hang on, wait a sec..Lemme go see.”

“Hurry up …I’m hot.”

You run back up the hallway, charge into mom’s room, go to interrupt her and realize she’s already nodding yes (mom’s have the longest hearing range) and off you dash for the necessities: towel, suit, flipflops and bubble gum of course.

Every 11 year old’s gotta have her stash to blow ginormous bubbles while lying and floating in the swimming pool.

In a mad dash you open the front door and race out to meet Libby who’s already bounding across the yard back over to her back yard to her pool.

Ah, the days when friends jaunted over and your “wait and see response” was only a matter of seeking out permission b/c your inner parent already said a big OF COURSE YOU CAN.

It was summer. You were 11. And you were helplessly inseparable from your best friend Libby.

And the hurry up rush rush was your accountability pact as best friends forever: you’d determined and agreed with each other to fit every last single solitary measure of fun into one day before they all too soon drifted.

Libby went to a school across town and you guys knew that come the start of the school year, it’d be back to playing on weekends only.

Ah, the wonder of the summer with all it’s frolicking fun. I remember we swam in mornings…late morning…and fell asleep on rafts in each others pools til one of us woke up the other, jumped off the rafts back into the water for a cool off before grabbing some lunch (cheese sandwiches to go) and then hopping in our wet suits with jean shorts and flip flops pedaling around the neighborhood…trolling for a higher branch to climb from the day before.

And once ascended to a newfound branch with remnant of cheese sandwich and book bag on tow, we lose ourselves again to separate good reads and journaling writing poems about made up romances and secret crushes. And if we dared share our innermost hopes and dreams, we’d lock pinkies and do a pinkie promise to never to tell anyone about these fantasies…again, another accountability measure: we’d keep them sacred within our hearts, knowing full well our potential to achieve those dreams. We were rather confident kiddos indeed.

There’s nothing like remembering the enthusiasm I dove into those days of adventure with. For one reason: the “lemme wait and see” was kept at a rare minimum voiced only as a statement of pause while permission from mom obtained.

Flash forward to adulthood: A couple years ago, I noticed myself saying “Lemme Wait and See “ an awful lot. But this time, not in response to Libby or anyone really…but rather, in response to myself. Only here’s the thing: I wasn’t treating me anything like I’d used to treat my best friend libby.

To this childlike mind and heart offering new adventures to pursue or risks to take, I’d flat out blow her off, ignore her, and often I’d actually try to run away from some of her lofty goals and dreams because they intimidated me.

Can you relate?

Have you ever pretended to hear but really blown off your inner most dreamer, childlike fearless self with “lemme wait and see?” You know who I’m talking about…that innate sense we all have who’s fearless, unintimidated, unfettered, who seeks to frollick and play, live fearlessly and make her/his dreams come true?

Now think back: I wonder if Libby woulda found another buddy to swim with if I put her off time and again…

What if I left her standing at the door, never returning to let her know I liked the idea of going for a swim but was intimidated, or I appreciated the thought of biking around the neighborhood but had too much on my plate to take time off just yet (and for the next year), or that I needed more courage to climb as she was suggesting.

You know what I think?

I think, knowing how Libby was a friend to me she would have listened to my fears, she would have held my heart with great compassion and heard me explain them and justify them.

And she may even give me another day or two.

But ultimately, she would have nudged me to try anyway, in spite of my intimidation.

You know how? Because a best friend holds your hand, reminds you it’s not about peaking Mt Everest in 4 hours, and encourages you to take one step toward a goal. And then once you’ve achieved that, a best friend nudges you to take another step toward your goal. And another. And another. And so on.

Now shhhhhh. Maybe you’re saying “Fine. But I don’t have a best friend and no one pushes me to push myself.”

I hear you. I get that, so totally much.

So here’s the thing: we can cultivate the ability to be our own best friend.

It’s not fake.

It’s not phony.

It’s the most natural inclination because it’s about wanting to nurture our hearts, hold our hands and help ourselves take one step at a time.

We can do that with ourselves. We need to do that with ourselves as much as we would with each other.

Had I been scared to go swimming and told Libby, I am positive Libby would not have responded “Well aren’t you the wimpiest wimpette of the century. Nice knowin loser. See ya.”

Yet isn’t that exactly what we do when we blow off our innermost yearnings?

I wondered to myself more recently when I was pondering how often I blew off my innermost yearnings out of intimidation with the old “Lemme wait and see” response.

So here’s the thing: noticing I was following this pattern of blowing off my innermost yearning, I tried this experiment: Tre, the next time you get a nudge to try anything new, pretend that nudge is Libby and respond to her the same way you woulda have responded to Lib when you were 11.

I know right? I was half laughing at this suggestion. But then again, I wanted to try it. In truth, I was cultivating my right to be my own advocate, my own best friend.

So immediately after consenting I get a nudge to start a blog.

I burst out laughing, half shocked and half intimidated.

Lemme tell ya what. I tried sooooo hard to convince myself to start this experiment next week.

I didn’t have a clue how to blog. I didn’t really think I had anything to say, where to begin, and so on.

I had a bazillion excuses.

Ah, but man I’m too honest sometimes.

I couldn’t blow it off. I was doing this experiment for a reason. I needed to reclaim my right to honor that fearless child within and strive to fulfill her dreams.

So I shifted thought.

I asked myself how Libby would respond.

And I knew she’d help me take one step.

And you know what? I did. I googled “start a blog” or something basic like this. This was way before I even knew folks blogged that very topic.

And whatever I found that day was enough.

The next day I asked myself “how would Libby help you?” And I took another step. I searched the different platforms WordPress and Blogger (2007).

The next, I took another step, and so on.

Each day I’d get to that section of my schedule where I was devoting time to this project and each day I’d ask “Tre, what would Libby do to help you right now?”

Each of those days, I didn’t do a whole lot, mind you. But in those hours, when tempted to blow off the pursuit, I walked through step by step how to be my own Libby or best friend and how to help myself figure this out.

Now it’s small, and yet huge.

I’m so convinced that the more we’re each able to cultivate how to be our own best friend in the throngs of intimidation or nervousness, we’ll cease backing out of events and avoiding taking steps toward fulfilling our dreams and we’ll move forward step by step.

Ever since….while I haven’t answered the door every single time, I’m that much more alert to when I am about to respond to my inner most yearnings with that stall tactic…and strive to bound off a resounding yes like I did when Libby and I went swimming.

This is a simple little story today to nudge a point:

Sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes, when we tell ourselves “lemme wait and see” what we’re really  saying is some form of “I’m scared..I’m not ready..I need more time.”

And sometimes–most times–we don’t. Most times, if you feel that fear, it’s a moment to strive to be your own best friend and help yourself figure out what is one single next step you can take toward achieving this goal.

Even if you have no clue what that next step may be, then you can take a step to find out.

So think about it..anything come up for you recently that you responded to with “Lemme wait and see?”

Can you rethink that response and consider how you could work that desire, try being that best friend and holding your hand and helping yourself take one step toward accomplishing the desired task?

Would love to hear about it!

If you have any questions or want to know more about how to be your own best friend, just leave a comment below or send me an email: tre at thought by thought dot net.

Eager to hear from you! 🙂 Til soon….be well and big hugs…