Editing…a life and a work

I’m ever thinking about this blog…what it represents in my life as a place where I can express with words what I’m thinking about, what I’m sifting through, what I’m striving to heal.

It’s a home for me in so many ways. It’s a place where I can just be, share, think out loud, offer insights, ask questions, play, cry, laugh, be serious, be professional, be giddy, whatever.

And  yet, to my own sense, I haven’t written that way really. Not really. Not REALLY. I’ve written more from that vista of AHA..here’s what insights I’ve gained after I endured all this muck.

In other words I’ve shown glimpses of my victories and not so much given windows into the challenges and the stumblings and the fallings off the cliff and the climbing back up again.

Here’s the deal. I’ve been writing all the above…in other places. And quite honestly, it’s not working for me anymore…to have this writer’s hat on when I’m writing at thought by thought and to have this writer’s hat on when I’m writing email stories or stories for other publications, blogging sites, etc.

So, a new year’s about to emerge and in my heart, I’m experiencing all kinds of new beginnings. So why not shake it up a bit on the blog and give thoughtbythought.net a bit of a new beginning too? ( I asked myself this this morning).

Here’s the deal. Not much at all is gonna change. I want to tweak the visual, not really jazzed about what the blog looks like yet. Still gonna be tweaking widgets on the sidebar but no real huge changes there either.

What’s gonna change is the writing..how much and how often.

I will post daily, maybe every few hours even. But there’s a lot that’s percolating in my thoughts, much I’m praying about–which simply means thinking about in a way that I’m trying to get a spiritual perspective about the concept–and much I’m trying to share as a window into this type of thinking simply if it can help you, the reader.

Down the road, I’m hoping to engage more readers and open up discussions on whatever topic someone wants to talk about as it relates to thinking and living from a spiritual perspective.

What is all this saying: more than bare with me. More than there’s gonna be changes. Really? I’m saying as I’m evolving my blogging life and I see my writings as a home. So I am gonna be treating them as such in that I’m offering more output on a more frequent basis. And it won’t always be about victories. It may well be about the muck. And how I’m still sifting through it…..

For example…a recent visit w/ my mom and sis who flew in and surprised the heck outa me for my bday this past weekend uncovered a ton that I thought I’d resolved already.

Nope.

Here it is: I am very much a horrible perfectionist when it comes to wanting to be prepared for a guest.

EWWWWW! I said it. Cringe. Scrunchy frowning face. Queen wanna be spontaneity said it. I admitted it. I’m completely faulted with wanting things to be more than JUST SO and more than ‘just wing it’ when I have visitors…and especially when said visitors are my mother and my sister.

Now to do them justice, lemme just offer, they’re queen of making do and queen of winging it the both of them. But they feel pampered and beauty-tenderly-hugged when they have their creature comforts….ie: spas, saunas, massages, mani’s and pedis, S P A C E to shower, dress, put on make up in comfort, yummies from the gourmet food stores to nosh on, healthy everything, left overs for sure, and restaurants….for every meal….especially when visiting someone. And of course knowing this, knowing their tastes, when they showed up, my first thought was NOT ‘yippee!” it was utter panick like ‘oh my goodness how the heck can I take on the 2 of them now?”

So reality check: I know that fear is never my own thinking. I know that fear is just a gross imposition that tries and would love to rob you of your inner peace and joy. So the moment I was cringing I got into my thoughts and sifted out the fear through affirming moment to moment, the only thing governing my thought or their thoughts is Divine Mind. And that Mind is whole, harmonious, steady, strong and is the architect of my thoughts. I am completely secure and safe and strong and can not for a moment give way to fear of any kind. Nor can they be misinfluenced and made to judge, condemn or criticize me or anyone.

Okay…so you get the gist of how I was praying.

But 2 seconds in the doorway, mom was saying ‘honey, where’s a glass, and a paper towel, and I need a tissue or a kleenex something!” and my sister was chiming in “where’s a blanket, some fleece warm sheets, where’s this, that, the other.” and then of course my bichon is looking up at me acting like he needs to go for a walk.

So calmly I turn to the fam and say “girls make yourself at home. write down a list of what you need that you don’t see I have, we’ll go to the grocery store, and try to remember I didn’t have any hint of your arrival hence the creature comforts ya’ll are used to may not be here but it’s not for lack of adoring that you have made the time to visit.”

That was Friday. Let’s just say by Sunday night, we were giggling about the fact they’d asked for so much upon arrival. There’s much more to our weekend I’ll share in another post.

Whole point: winging it and making do as you go sometimes works. Letting go the ‘this has to be perfect before I post’ mindset doesn’t work for my blogging anymore than my desire to make everything perfect before a guest arrives works for my home life (case in point: their surprise arrival).

So what I’m saying is this: as the blog evolves, feel welcome to comment on what you like/don’t like….what you’d love to see included or excluded…what you need and don’t need. I guess in ways I’m asking you the reader to list out for me what you need to make your visit/read of this blog cozy comfy as if you were a guest staying with me for a time. 🙂

I think you get what I’m saying. I’m shedding the perfectionist mindset and starting to write more from the heart and here/there I’m gonna offer how I’m sifting through stuff spiritually….Perfection is a given. It’s a spiritual fact and the innate truth of our substance as each one of us is an idea of the divine Mind. But living day to day and moment to moment, perfection is the standard of being…not the outcome of our days…It’s our truth this moment and what allows us to move forward with confidence that whatever we may think we need will come as we need it and not a moment sooner.

I finally did buy paper towels and they’re now stored in a closet for mom’s next visit (frankly I use linens and then wash them later). As is a bottle of her favorite wine. And for my sister, she now has stored for her next visit warm jammies socks and a couple boxes of her favorite penny candy (errr..those may well be gone by the time she comes up again. We share a love for gummy anything!) 🙂

Here’s to being true to you, your authentic self and trusting that it will feed you and whomever else it’s supposed to. Live this moment fully. Drop the ego insisting you have to get it all perfect before…..or until….or whatever. Let yourself be. I surely am…and not without a ton of ‘I wonder if this is gonna work?” but I’m surely willing to give it go. Have fun and be well….Til next post big hugs, Tre 🙂