Hey to all…Hoping you are well.
I was in a conversation with a friend recently.
She was going on and on about how much she misses this, that, the other…much of what had to do with her roots and changing a location.
I flat out asked her why she doesn’t live there.
She paused.
Her answer?
“Because I feel selfish in choosing what I want over where I feel like I’m most needed.”
So we probed that further.
We took a look at why she thinks location is part of her set of objectives in determining where to live full time.
We talked about a lot actually.
What it all came down to, for me, in sifting through and hearing her needs, I realized this: she hasn’t yet given herself permission to claim her right to evolving the life she wants. She’s still caught up in thinking her life needs to be according to what she thinks other people or circumstances want.
Interesting.
I am grateful for her honesty.
She agreed when I pointed this out.
I simply asked her this: “When are you going to give yourself permission to create the kind of life you want for yourself?”
She couldn’t answer.
But the tears that welled up in her eyes showed me the authenticity of her desire.
She wants to. Desperately. She just doesn’t know how.
So I’ve decided to explore this topic of permission more fully and offer what insights I have about the topic and also open it up for discussion.
I’m certain my friend is not alone in the need to grant herself permission.
She doesn’t come from a history or background where much of her decisions were made for her.
She does come from a very opinionated and a very assertive family — from all she’s told me.
And she doesn’t mind that I’m using her generic story as a lead in to this topic.
- How can you learn to give yourself permission?
- Why does your happiness depend on doing so?
- What has worked for you in the past to give yourself permission on simpler things (whether taking yourself to a movie, choosing to learn how to drive, etc).
- How can you develop a life practice of giving yourself permission?
I want to really dive into this topic, not only because it’s a huge interest of mine but because I think it will awaken more folks to either claim their right to giving themselves permission on all different sorts of levels to helping create a conversation about what’s worked for others and why and how anyone can learn this very basic yet vital skill to evolve the kind of life and journey you long for.
I’ll simply offer this:
Permission requires two things that need to be cultivated:
1) self knowledge–knowing how to sift your thoughts from willful exertions to the innermost yearnings.
2) self love….not the egotistical I’m so all that kind. I’m talking a treasuring and valuing of your individuality so much so that you stop at nothing to ensure his/her happiness.
Ponder this and offer your take.
What has worked for you to give yourself permission on any level?
Do you think giving yourself permission is vital to creating a life you want? Why? Why not?
What advice would you give someone else?
Looking forward to hearing your perspective.
Til the follow up, let’s get this conversation hummin!
Thanks for being here, reading this, and offering your perpsective!
Tre ~