Hey friend…
So.
You’re heading to there-ville?
Cool.
I headed there once….never made it though…
Why did I give up?
Hmm.
Interesting way to phrase that.
I didn’t give up…I just redefined my ‘there.‘
But, more on that later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lemme ask you a different question.
Why do you want to leave your here-ville?
What?
You’re looking at me funny.
Here-ville.
The ‘where” you are in your now.
What?
You’re not any where yet, but you will ‘be’ when you get to ‘there-ville?’
Yeah, I thought that once, too.
More on that…later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lemme ask a different question.
How do you like now-ville?
What?
You look flustered.
Let me expand.
The steps you’re taking to get to ‘there-ville.’
How are those going?
Oof.
You now look more flustered.
You have no idea what I’m speaking of with this crazy nonsense of now-ville and here-ville.
All you care about is getting…there….to there-ville.
And what the heck do I mean about ‘steps’ ?
The what you’re doing to get to there-ville…
Those are steps.
And where your thought is while you’re taking each step?
That’s your now-ville.
And that?
The where your thought is?
Matters. so. deeply. much.
What?
No they don’t you say, because they’re just what you have to get through to get to there-ville?
Wow.
I can relate.
I used to think exactly that.
I used to think no matter how fast I steamroll and blaze past now-ville, all that matters is getting to there-ville.
I’d insist “I’m going to there-ville. No matter what.”
And I’d fight–in thought– to make it happen.
- I’d steamroll over my fears.
- I’d blaze a trail through my second guessing.
- I’d scold and hush up my ‘but what iffing.’
I was really mean to me — in my thoughts — in other words.
And I’d ignore a lot of my need to slow down.
And kinda hold my breath and remind myself I could breathe….later.
You’re nodding your head.
Relate?
About holding your breath and doing anything at any cost so long as you get to there-ville?
Yeah, I know.
It’s what many of us are doing.
It’s what I did for like ever and what I sometimes catch myself still doing.
Let’s just say I’m learning how to give myself permission to breathe with each step.
I’m learning how to let myself see my now-ville as what matters...just as much as where I think I’m heading.
I’m learning to see each step is a ‘here-ville.‘
I’m learning to make how I treat myself — in thought–while taking each step — matter .
- not steamroll through it.
- not hold my breath until I get to there-ville.
- not be on total hold and do nothing else in any other area of my life before I get to there-ville.
And here’s a little secret.
I’m not insisting so much on getting to there-ville.
What?
That shocks you?
Well, I’m not giving up surely no.
But I’m learning.
Our there-ville is really the what we chose to represent a big desire.
We name it a place, position, title, status, accomplishment.
But it’s really a collection of desired goals and achievements.
And mastering those is possible moment by moment.
And while my now sense used to insist that collection of desires meant head to there-ville,
well I’m learning that wher I’ve insisted on as there-ville may well not be big. enough. actually. 🙂
Sometimes?
I underestimate what the there-ville could be.
And so I’m learning.
To stop insisting on where is there-ville and how fast I need to get there.
You’re nodding your head.
Why?
Does that scare you?
To let go a little bit from the rush to to get to there-ville?
To stop holding your breath and steam rolling?
Yes.
It used to scare me too.
So here’s what I wanna offer.
We are allowed to breathe in any process.
It’s not wrong to want to go to there-ville.
It’s not selfish or self absorbed.
But it’s vital to breathe in the process.
And it’s vital to see your here-and-now- ville as the what matters most…as the where you are dwelling.
You’re nodding your head.
Me too.
I used to think that in order to breathe with each step I’d have to give up heading toward there-ville.
I’d have to slow it all down so much that the “there-ville” would seem either out of reach or too hard to get to.
Now?
As I’m allowing myself permission to breathe along the way, to move a lot more thoughtfully a lot less willfully?
I’m noticing so much more.
I’m seeing that now-ville IS the most important there-ville.
My thought about my now IS just as vital as getting to there-ville.
And you know why I think this is?
Because it’s how I notice how loved I am, how guided I am, how shepherded if you will each moment we are.
If I blaze through…If I steamroll through any of the steps?
I may get to the there-ville.
But ….
I may miss a whole love of caring for me and my footsteps in the process.
And you know what else?
I’m learning I am worth that care….And I want to appreciate each step…
I want to adore my now-ville.
So….circling back….
I didn’t stop heading to there-ville.
I just expanded my sense of it. 🙂
And these days?
I’m dwelling in here-and-now-ville and letting those guide the steps to there-ville.
What do you think? 🙂