May 27, 2014
So often I awaken ready to fight
All that would wanna make me just completely give up
But today this morning I feel so deeply calm
And embraced in the recognition
I am not doing womanhood wrong
My babies are ideas
My marriage is a hope
And I devote fully and consciously all day long to both
And I’m cherishing a form to house this dream
A way…a tangible form…
a book
a home
a site
an effort
discussion groups who knows …so that all can face down that foe when it screams
We are a mistake and or we are doing it wrong
If those before knew how much I’ve tried to sing that song
I think I still must heal a deep ache that somehow I needed my gram’s thumbs up
And I think somehow I still need to heal believing the likes of Susan B Anthony would laugh at me and say “are you kidding?”
And maybe it’s just me but I wonder if other women think no matter how much they try to be the who they are, that they are doing womanhood wrong
And I wonder a ton of guys would ever admit that indeed they feel their respected elders wouldn’t two hoots — for their efforts today — give
But rather dwell on who also feels she or he is doing it wrong…
It’s time to sing today this moment’s song:
I have no regrets that I don’t have a ring
I have no regrets I’m not painting a crib
Bc I always feel married and a mommy for sure
It’s hard to explain but I’m a creative builder and those ideas just gotta get built…
And womanhood to me is what we live
And home to me is how in thought we unceasingly give
And marriage to me is our inseparable forever bond with that Love
And family to be is how we embrace humanity…
So maybe it’s not visible to those who condemn and quote honestly I gotta admit up til recently I did seek to convince them…
A friend said to me the other day what if we woke up without memory of our story
And a part of me leaped for joy at that hope…
And a part of me pulled the reigns and said but we must share them for sure
“Share what?” you ask and maybe you’re ready for me to just say it…
Share our victories of course …how we’ve mastered that fear and lie of being negligent or invisible or worthless…
How we’ve persevered AND WHY …these are the stories I wanna gather for sure…
Ok so some goals I am cherishing:
A book
A nest in a certain zip code bc I just can’t give up
A group
A site
A way to connect with all who wrestle with the gross lie that they’re an effup.
No you’re not
And no, I’m not either
We are about a love that is deeper
Than many believe we oughta give
But without living true friend you know there’s little to give
If you’re reading this poem now:
If you wrestle with valuing your you somehow
If you are building a sense of what is home to you
If you are striving to know youre being true
My heart to yours:
Love itself is
steering your inclinations and impelling each step …
That you are listening and heeding that nudge — not what it looks like –is all you ever have to concern yourself with
If you need a boost and wanna touch base
I offer prayer and support as healing treatment
And if that feels or sounds wonky to you
If you just need a place to feel safe to share
I’m right here to listen: I offer phone consults and maybe that’s all you need for now to feel able to press on…
To be in touch email me tre(at)thought by thought(dot) net
Or call (six one seven ) seven eight four – six four two six .
Or you can comment here and let me know how best to reach you.
So safe vital needed seen are you.
Big love to you for you and with you for all you are living as manhood and as womanhood.
Huggas
Tre