Thought by thought . . .

Hmmmm. The sound of rain drops pattering against the windows or ontop my jacket as I’m outside walking my dog. The fresh scent of rain, the glowing glisten that appears on all the leaves when everthing’s soaked, the emergence of flowers from yesterday’s buds….I’m truly savoring each and every moment of this birthing of spring.

That said, I’m also very aware of how thankful I am the raindrops are not frozen falling as snow, less because of feeling gruff about weather, more because I’m welcoming the evidence of change when so much seems to have been percolating change in my own heart and thoughts for some time now.

It’s easy to live life on this superficial track. You establish your routines, you learn what you think you need to get through each day, you plot ways to seem productive with your time, you strive your best to be faithful to that which you think you must do.

But other times going about this meandering way, you may find yourself hitting your head against a cement wall, or so it seems, when that which you clung to for security and safety, familiarity and peace just doesn’t cut it anymore…when the walks you once took to inspire now burden you, when the places you once drove to now reflect back a sense of emptiness, when that which you sought after just simply doesn’t answer the quest for meaning any longer.

And still you know that you’ve done the whole migrate to a new place so many times that you know it’s not location or zipcode that define you or give you sense of purpose. So you dig deeper right where you are. And you strip away all that distracts and all that vies for your attention and you carve away all that robbed your peace..all the shunnings and condemnations and admonishments that have scolded you ought to be living life differently.

And what’s left afterwards is just as brilliant as the flowers that have been newly rained on…your core..that which pulls at you to pursue..your very passion…that which no one else can define for you but that very thing that only you can face and only you can choose not to run from again.

This spring, more than just flowers are blooming in my life. This spring, the showers are growing within me — at long last perhaps– that ability to stand, to persevere, to pursue that which I must, and to live out this passion that long ago took root in my heart.

This year, April showers will surely bring May flowers…and may I just say how giddy I am about that! 🙂