we race and dash and run and climb and dive in
and fall and get back up again
and climb some more
until we’re laughed at
or ridiculed
then we walk and jog and look up (steada climb) and dip toe in (steada dive in)
until we’re name called slow and loser and weird and scared
and then we stand still
and stare
and wait
and wait some more
while we figure out what the silently imposed formula is for
stopping waiting….
known something like this:
the promise of other (and all its forms):
a degree
a title
a ring
offspring
even your own real estate – thing
and more formulas…
what should happen in 20s
20s
30s
40s
50s
and so on….
always a reason to wait…for ‘other’
and once sought…wait for the
obligated …
next…
step
because surely no,
you can’t figure it out on your own….
must wait
always waiting
for these things
these recipes for completeness
that will happen
‘some day when’
always looking forward to that then
as if
looking at now?
who’da think. how foolish!
til one day (lots) it occurs:
did i wait to climb the tree?
did i wait to jump on the swing?
did i wait to play with numbers and do that ‘math’ thing?
did i wait to write stories
or create communities with my dollies
did i wait to feel companioned by best friends
or for building lemonade-sale then businesses as a means to an end?
and more?
does wind wait?
or sun?
or rain?
or a single peonies bud?
ahhh.
deep.
long.
breath.
waiting?
for other?
kinda like playing a now version of ‘simon sez’
we’ll rename that ‘society says’
or red light green light
cept we got stuck on yellow
always waiting
always thinking there’s something else to wait for
until the real living will begin…..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
some time ago i chose to be…complete as me…
and ever since
shedding the pulls
to wait for good
how so totally nonsense!
so gentle nudge
from me to you
ask your heart
if she’s being true
is she waiting
for
other?
and if so
from one to another
i sooo
get it
and invite you instead
to bold asking the question
will i let myself go even if the light is STILL red
and will i even consider, hello…
allowing ‘go’ if the light turns to yellow?
and if you nod yes
right here with you
holding hand and giggling
because i so get what it means to
be true to you 🙂 🙂 🙂

English: South Korea Traffic light(Left Turn Traffic Light) "Flickering Yellow" ???: ???? ???(??? ???) "????" (Photo credit: Wikipedia)