What does feeling safe look and feel like to me? (Feeling Safe, part 1)

Hey friend,

Me again….

I’m so glad you nudged this question: how can I feel more safe?

It’s one I live with.

And we are nodding with each other when we hold hands and look into each other’s eyes and know what we mean.

We know we’re not talking safe from burglars or boogie mans….or break in’s or thefts….at least the actual kind.

We know we mean feeling safe in our lives…in our thoughts….where it matters most.

What you ask is a biggie yet simple question and yet….I don’t wanna just offer up a wham-bam-here-ya-go-answer-type-post.

I wanna sit with you a long while, over coffee or tea, on a comfy couch, and really hear you out-pour what you feel safe might look like for you.

Why?

Because I wonder if anyone’s ever given you space to voice yourself?
I wonder if anyone’s really ever listened to you define what you mean when you yearn to feel safe?

But deeper still?

I wonder if you have ever given yourself space to both ask and answer that question?

And more?

I wonder if you’ve ever let yourself really hear and honor and hold your answers.

I wonder….

And I wonder what you would need in order to let yourself ask and answer that question and listen to your answers.

You surely would need more than just me telling you you are allowed (a sorta giving you and nudging you permission).

Ultimately you would need to feel you already have permission to ask and answer the question and hold the answers….and we will get to that…we will…promise…the whole point really is to live that life of so loving ourselves we live that permission fully and wholly. 🙂 🙂 🙂

So….to sorta nudge that process of you allowing yourself to ask and answer and hear those answers, I wanna be that listening ear for you.

Methinks my sense of how to cultivate moment by moment and thought by thought safety will surely work for you.

But I’m learning to be wiser still…and I know that if I just draft up a quickie answer, you may well hit the like button and comment “thanks lovey” but you may not fully get how to apply what all I’ve suggested.

It’s kinda like this:

I can point to the washing machine and talk at you and tell you every step and look at you later and say, ‘Okay. Your turn. Do it.”

Or…

I can clean the room from floor to ceiling have you watch me and think you’re getting it as you watch.

And when finished, I can again turn to you and say “Okay, did you see how? Kay, your turn.”

But, now I’m giggling, how many of us really and truly can learn by only watching.

And more?

If we only watch and we don’t have steps, we may think we’re stupid or dumb for needing a dual process of seeing and hearing steps.

Well this is me saying what you need, the how you learn and how you process, is not ever dumb and you’re not ever stupid.

I’m almost certain you need both. I know I do.

So….

This is me if holding your hand giving you both by FIRST helping you make space in your thought for why you already have permission to ask yourself and answer the what do you need to feel safe.

And luvbug?

Trust me?

This isn’t a one time fix.

Promise promise promise.

This is a thought by thought journey.

So…of course if you’re willing and interested… to sift your thoughts…and begin to ask that question, here’s what helps me:

1. Give yourself…just you…five minutes for yourself.

2. Find a space that is quiet (without background sounds like tv or music that tend to hush our ability to hear our innermost thoughts).

3. Get still in thought…meaning hush and lull the huggabaloo….(and I am realizing I need to jot you a how to get still letter….promise one soon).

4. Ask the question: “What does safe look and feel like to me?”

5. Begin to listen…not to the responses that condemn and attack…but to your answers…even if they may not make sense at first.

6. Listen…and keep listening….

7. Sift the thoughts that come. And hear. And allow any answer to come to you.

No answer is unreasonable.

No answer is irrational.

No need is too great.

No need is too small.

Everything you think you need this moment to feel safe is valid.

Everything.

Every. little. last. thing.

Even if some unthinkable things like removing certain people from your life (ssssshhhhh I wont tell) or removing youself from a seemingly harmful setting…alllll of that is okay.

Promise.

Think through it all and get your sense of what you need to feel safe.

In the next few posts, I’m gonna give you some ideas about why you always already are safe from a spiritual perspective, but again, that’s like me showing you how to clean or do laundry without holding your hand and walking you through the process.

This first step?

This thinking through the question: What does safe look and feel like for me?…..this is me holding your hand and walking you through the process.

I truly love you luvbug….and I know how much you are loved this moment.

And I want you to feel that.

But I know me just saying that won’t make you feel it.

I know that helping you cultivate a practice of loving yourself may just find me holding your hands and walking you through some how to’s.

So let’s start with what it looks and feels like to feel safe, for y – o – u.

I’m right here, doing the same thing.

And I’m staying right here with you while you do it too.

Promise.

If you need a voice hand holding literally while you’re sifting your thoughts, gimme a buzz….

Call my cell or use skype.

Or email me.

Or message me on facebook.

Or send me a direct message on twitter.

You are not alone in this process.

Promise promise.

Alrighty love love…..

Be in touch if any of this doesn’t make sense….and / or after you sift through your answers.

I’d value hearing what you come up with.

But most of all, I am hoping you let yourself listen to your answers and hold them and respect them and do not shun a single one.

Kay?

Kay……

Love you sooo muchly.

Huggabugga,

Tre ~