Hey to all. Hope all is well.
Was just thinkin’…4 days into a new year and several reads of blog posts about resolutions later, and it finally dawns on me why I edited about 10 different times my draft on ‘2009 resolutions.’
I’m being honest: I don’t make resolutions on January 1. Or December 31. Or the week before the year ends. Or even during the whole month of the new year. At least not ‘goals’ for the year.
For one, it’s too much societal pressure, feels fake and forced, not genuine and inspired.
For two, I tend to evaluate my doings and feel out what needs ramping up, shifting, or continuing several times throughout the year. I don’t need a calendar to lemme know when it’s time to shake things up a bit, redefine what’s working/not working, and set some new goals.
Here’s the thing: Self knowledge thrives on one quality: utter honesty with your self. And I can’t escape the fact that I cultivated this honesty a while ago. So sometimes the stuff I ought to / should improve upon stares at me a little too closely — even for my comfort zone. And not because somebody says so. But because my inner sense of right life, of principle, of integrity says so–the nudges of the divine Mind.
In her chapter on Physiology of her work Science and Health, Mary Baker Eddy writes “Controlled by the divine intelligence, man is harmonious and eternal.” So how do I or any of us find that absolute certainty we’re letting our thoughts be controlled by the divine intelligence?
For me it’s in that utter self knowledge–the willingness to shut all murmurings out, get very still and listen. When I do this, when I strive to be honest with myself about where my thoughts are and where I want them to be, I can hear the things that come as negative, heavy weighted, derogatories. And divine intelligence never speaks or nudges this way. So any thought that is negative: fear based, guilt based, anger based, self willful based–has to be rooted out.
All those negatives are the muckety muck disguised as my/our thinking but really aim to tare any of us down, condemn our good, and sabotage our innocence.
Refuse to allow these thoughts the right to rent a room. Seriously. If they come a knockin’ you’re booked– solid for the rest of the season. And that’s the truth. You’re not open for their solicitation, business, nada.
My point: You don’t need a new year to resolve to be honest with your self, take a look at your mental closet and gauge what thoughts need to stay and which ones need to get booted. But this invites a real devotion and willingness to do one simple yet huge thing: listen. Get in your thoughts and listen.
What helps me: if while I get in there and listen and anything feels heavy, weighted, full of guilt, doubt, fear, intimidation–it’s sooo outa there. If a thought is layered in the shoulda/woulda/coulda’s…it’s gone.
Okay okay fine you think. Nice for you. But how am I supposed to do that?
Get into your thoughts. And just look around. Sometimes just getting used to doing that is good enough. It’s not a regular practice for many to ‘sift thoughts.’ We’re good at sifting laundry, dirty dishes, items on the to do list, etc. We’re not always savvy at sifting around the thoughts we entertain.
So get into your thoughts and sift them.
And if they’re at all wearing a negative label, dump them.
How you ask?
A few ways. You can outwardly dismiss them, deny them reality, and flat out say ‘this is not true and I’m not going to be duped to believe it.”
You can also get rooted and grounded in the spiritual fact that because it is your innate right to know your self, this invites you to always strive for authenticity, genuineness, integrity, goodness–qualities that are inherent to your spirituality. You may not feel like you express these qualities time and again. But you can.
The negative ones are simply arguments opposing your true nature….purpoting the false belief that you are prone to making mistakes and screwing up and being a horrible person. In fact, they’d imprison you in a forever ongoing barrage of accusations and criticisms.
I weigh thoughts this way: I ask “Is this idea expressing the highest sense of me right now? if not, then it’s not a permanent truth and I don’t have to feel imprisoned by it.”
Now maybe you were just really impatient or irritable or downright rude or reactionary toward someone or something and maybe you flat out lost it, yelled, had a tiff with someone and are really riling in anger.
Okay. So you are looking at me like “Um, hello. I’m furious right now. And I know that’s a negative. And just telling myself that this isn’t my inherent nature ain’t gonna work lady.”
And I so hear you.
BUT! A huge part of healing anger, no matter how justified you feel, is disrobing that gown. Throw it off. Get still and get still and GET STILL. Shut up the anger. Each time you give in you are simply allowing your thoughts to react and be manipulated.
Would you let someone take over your life and dictate your doings?
Would you allow someone to take over your job, your family, your research, your whatever and start ordering to you how it ought to be done?
Surely you would not. And so it’s the same in your thinking.
And this resolution–to be utterly honest with yourself and cultivate and strengthen your self knowledge is really a resolution that you can make any moment, every single moment, hour, day of your life–even if you think you messed up yesterday or an hour ago.
So this is me recommitting out loud to this resolution.
And a few posts that I found awesome reads that inspired my outlook on the value of recommitting one’s self to thought shifts are as follows:
Chistine Kane on choosing a word for the year.
Seth Godin on the possibilities of leadership.
Chris Brogan on choosing 3 goals for where you are hoping to grow.
Beth Kanter’s blog is a direct result of reading Chris’ post (above). She offers 3 goals for her technology endeavors.
And so what is your take? Did you make any resolutions you wanna share? do you make them daily?
Let’s hear about it….
Thanks for reading….and be well!