Loosening rigidity…allowing flow

Ice is melting…..

And for me, a lot of rigidity and preconceived notions about several aspects of how I thought some things should look and be…in my life and in my work.

Ice melting is a constant reminder that thoughts–ideas–move. And the true ones, the ones of substance, are ever expanding.

And growing.

Not stuck, not staccato, and surely not contained in the way we’ve always done something or thought something should look like.

I think courage and facing one’s fears allows one to see that forms are clung to for safety and security. You know in your heart when something is not a right fit.

But you keep clinging because to face changing…really fully finally changing, means walking into your real you. And there’s no map for that. Not externally anyway.

And it the big abyss of ‘the unknown’ deems huge at times and unsurmountable.

Okay….

But what if there’s a different perspective.

We know what happens when ice melts.

We know what remains.

We may not ‘see’ what will happen when we’re fully full on true to our hearts.

But we can count on this: the angst from staying stuck in stuckville won’t be there.

The insistance on how things ought to look or seem or what one ought to be doing to be ‘productive’ and the internal battle our true core wages when we know we’re not being honest with ourselves–that will also wane.

So ….we may not ‘see’ what all the props will look like.

But when we’re deeply truely honest with ourselves, when have ‘props’ ever summed up the whole story?

That’s like saying the stage and the back drop and the props are the play.

Fear forgets to account for the actors.

And their performance.

Fear of change will find you clinging to forms you’ve outgrown….forms as setting, furnishings, schedules, even relationships.

I know that last statement is pretty packed.

But here’s what I’m finding holds true for me:

Freedom — to me — comes when I relinquish clinging to the stronghold of insisting how something ought/should/must

~ look like…

~ sound like…

~ appear like …

~ in order to ‘do’ me right.

I can probably say that better.

When all the clinging to insistance of how something ought to look, should appear, must be/sound/feel….when I let go of insisting what productivity should be on any given day and what constitutes doing my profession right — all of which are innocent and well meaning paradigms, but based on how I’ve seen others go about fulfilling their professions or hearing what has worked for them and trying to impose it into my now….indeed, when my intense strong grip of insistence in my thoughts loosens,  I become vastly aware of how I naturally ebb and flow…

and what occurs to me as the right productive flowing way for my work to evolve…..

and what is a natural ebb and flow to nurturing my relationships and most importantly my heart.

Letting go the stronghold of insistance, I begin to open up  to expressing what is…

..when harsh stubborn will subsides.

…when authoritative musts give way to playful maybes.

…when staccato ‘shoulds’ and tightly harnessed ‘have to’s’ break apart and are unable truly to imprison any more….

I know and feel when I’m orchestrating instead of being….when I’m dwelling in imposed ‘shoulds’ instead of flowing with what could be…when I’m intensely dictatorial on my moments instead of breathing with possibilities.

And I know when I’m silencing my inklings and banishing them.

And I know when I’m shaming my yearnings and insisting I’m not allowed.

It’s actually painful to admit how much I’ve said no to my heart.

But in learning to listen to her, and learning vastly more so how to respond to her, mommy her, mentor her, and hold her and allow her to breathe, good golly you wake up and become yourself….truly.

Truth?

There are moments I feel a total babe in the journey of being true to my heart.

But I know this: the more I say yes to my heart’s innermost yearnings…..and I’m not talking trite 24 hr hiatuses…I am speaking deeply of core ways of presenting my life and my work and the sheer being of both as one…

To the degree I say yes to these pulls, do I feel true…..and whole….and free….

Sculptors chisel.

Painters form with color.

Lives do both with thought.

Here’s to loosening the tightly held grip of rigidity and allowing thought open to possibilities, maybe’s and saying yes…to you…this moment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As always, I will never profess to be an expert in anything I write.

Why: because at best I am living and proving these ideas these moments.

Yet, I have a bounty of experience in overcoming fears and ignoring my heart enough to know how to help you stop doing the same.

So…to that end, if anything you read above resonates, I hope you’ll be in touch.

Thanks so much for spending moments here….

Til soon, here’s to being true to our hearts….

Tre ~