Showing UP….for ME :)

What would it take to show up 24/7 fully engaged, 100% committed to being true to ourselves?

Tough question?

Well, it’s one I’ve been pondering much lately. Beyond much.

So 2 days ago, I decided to take action:

a. I blogged a thank you note to a lot of women whose nurturing influences have mattered much in my life.

b. I made a list of things I want to stop doing, continue doing, and start doing in this next year.

c. I committed myself to the following mantra: For better or worse, I hereby promise myself to show up for…ME.

Take a peak at a few awesome things that happened in the past 48 hours–examples of people who’ve already mastered making that commitment to themselves:

1) On December 14, 2009, Motherapps launched a free iphone application for Chris Brogan’s blog.

Now, anyone anywhere can read Chris’ blog via their iphone app.

That’s just so beyond awesome to me it’s worth a shout out.

(((((((Congratulations to you Chris Brogan! ))))))))

May this application’s launch continue to feed your business and fuel others in the coming year!

(Also fabulousness for Chris: his interview today on Dr. Phil ).

2. 40 Friends on Facebook, and a coupla followers on twitter offered shout outs here here and here. Most of these folks I’ve not yet met in real life, yet they took two minutes out of their crazy schedules to wish me well and offer a few hugs. Wow. That meant so much. Talk about the value of showing up!

3. Jory DesJardin, co founder of BlogHer, offers her take( Business Boomer’s 12/15/09 edition ) on what helped her, Elisa Camahort Page, and Lisa Stone build a business after forming community  for women who blog. These ladies rock in my eyes. They’ve surely mastered what it means to follow their passion, be true to their hearts, and let the bounty of good exude forth. Thank you Jory, Elisa, and Lisa.

4. A neighbor friend just landed a new job. The months she’s spent applying and looking for something have redefined my sense of what it means to commit yourself to what you want and need. Congrats to you Karen!

There’s countless other events I learn about daily on twitter, in my walks around the neighborhood, via email and facebook status updates that have evolved outa people mastering discerning what they need and then being their own best advocates.

So looping all these things together: here’s my ask of late:

How can I actualize my convictions in the value I am about –the who I am and the what I have to offer and contribute?

It’s for me a vital question because it’s about living authentically and being true to myself. It’s about a 24/7 effort to squelch the enemy: the voices that blare who do you think you are, the doubts, the fears, the distractions.

Yes, for me this will manifest as having a more consistent web presence. But that’s just one piece. A vital piece surely but just one piece.

The truth? I’m pretty good at devoting myself to ‘others.’ It’s my work. It’s my nature. It’s what I know.

But it’s also safe, comfortable, and easy.

Committing myself to me 100% means being honest with myself and really asking some heart wrenching questions …like:

a. Is this project mine to do?

b. Is this kind of lifestyle what I envisioned for myself?

c. Am I living the life that I’ve yearned to?

Now in many ways I can say yes to those questions. But in many ways the answer is no.

And that is what I want to wrap my arms around more this coming year and devote myself entirely to not just doing a life that has meaning, but LIVING one.

And that means being willing to squelch the pulls to hibernate, stay invisible and SHOW UP more.

And not just online or in real life but in my thoughts.

I do stuff–we all do–where I’m not fully engaged and present in the now moment. Maybe I’m dwelling on something from the past. Maybe I’m anxious over something I need to decide. Maybe I’m 2nd guessing my decisions.

Whatever is going on in thought, if it’s not fully focused on the right now, I’m not showing up.

If I’m tip toeing at anything, I’m not fully present.

If I keep on saying “Well, lemme see” life just zooms by.

So, gently, honestly, compassionately, I’m striving to commit to me.

I’m striving to consistently show up, keep swimming, in spite of all my ‘wordless’ or ‘bad hair’ or ‘stuck in self doubt’ days.

Surely the folks I’ve cited above have mastered a lot of their intimidations and doubts and fears.

Surely they’re phenomenal examples of keeping at it.

So how bout it?

I’m in this for the long haul….this living a life of meaning and authenticity, this showing up for myself and therefore being fully present for others.

…No matter what push back I’ve received from well meaning folks.

…No matter how much I know my blog needs a redesign, my blogging style needs improvement.

…No matter how much I wanna get better at just about everything! 😉

I’m here. I’m showing up. My birthday present to myself.

And while it’s not an iphone app (yet) or a company (yet) or even something that anyone but you may read today, it is my public promise to myself. 🙂

Hold me accountable? It’s okay if you don’t…I’m here to do just that.

And you? How do you keep yourself showing up inspite of all that may want to make you hibernate?

Would love to hear.

Thanks for taking a moment to be here and ponder this with me.

Here’s to showing up for ourselves and each other!