- Image by magnusfranklin via Flickr
Mornin’ to all. Hope you’re having a bright, sunny, warm one in your heart!
Been thinkin’ much of late about giving myself–ourselves–permission…how to say yes to our heart of hearts, or really how to even determine what that is.
How do you say yes to yourself? On the biggies? or the littles? on the stuff that makes your life have meaning?
Here’s some questions that help me weigh in on whether to give myself permission and say yes to my heart:
1. If I give myself permission and say yes to my heart, am I saying yes for me, or am I saying yes to gain approval/acceptance from someone else?
2. If I give myself permission and say yes to my heart, am I fulfilling a goal toward meeting my life purpose?
3. If I give myself permission and say yes to my heart, is this a next right step for my right now?
All of these measuring tools help me make a decision and here’s a bit of why on each:
I use the first gauge: “Am I saying yes to me for me” to really dive in and take an honest look at my heart, because, well, let’s face it: we all seek — on some level — praise and approval. And while this ought to be an outcome that makes us giddy after we’ve been true to our hearts, it can tend to factor into the decision making process at the get-go.
Truth be told, I have in the past made decisions that, although well intended, really did aim to attain someone’s approval (boss, mentor) or make someone proud (family, friends), or were decisions that I thought I should make at the time because it’s what was expected of me at that stage in my life and womanhood.
Tough to admit but there it is.
I’ve learned sometimes the hard way that when giving myself permission, it has to be to seek approval within.
How to do this? Ask yourself: Will saying yes really honor my own sense of what’s right for me?
If you don’t know how to determine if something is right for you, that’s okay too…it’s actually a topic I’ll write about in some additional posts…so stay tuned. 🙂
(or if you prefer, and you’re in need now of figuring out how to sense if something’s right for you, just shoot me an email at tre at thought by thought dot net and we can continue the conversation).
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I find the second gauge a really important one: am I fulfilling a goal toward meeting my life purpose?
Trust me when I say I totally get how this one can feel looming and large.
A ‘life purpose’ can feel really heavy, huge, and long term (10-20-30 year plan, etc).
And yet, if I don’t ask myself this, then I feel too scattered and too able to be swayed by spontaneous pulls that are wonderful but maybe not in line with my needs right now.
For me, the biggies, the major decisions — like where to live and what/ how to pursue our passion–can feel at times all over the map. I’ve gotta weigh in and ask whether a choice is helping me meet my sense of my over-all life purpose, with my overal sense of what I’m hoping to achieve in my life.
(Heads up: this question alone is worth unpacking a ton more and I plan to do so in future posts.
If however you wanna talk more about trying even to figure out your life purpose, feel free to comment below or email me at tre at thought by thought dot net).
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I use the third gauge: is this next step a right step for my right now? to keep me light hearted but focused.
I have to think that way in terms of baby steps, step by step, one at a time, moment to moment and day by day. Sometimes it helps me break into more manageable chunks the biggie, huge stuff I want to achieve.
Other times it helps me pace a project that is going to take a long while to accomplish.
Either way, weighing in on whether something is a right step for the right now keeps me mentally present, focused, and aware. And thinking that way keeps me really zero in to my right now what is doable, what makes most sense.
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So there ya go, these are just a few questions I ask myself in order to give myself permission.
How ’bout you? What works for you? What questions do you ask yourself?
Thanks for adding your 2 cents and more and continuing the conversation.
Enjoy your day!!!
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hey girlfriend..when we say yes there's often no more tug of war in our hearts. just adored hearing about the cute outfit you've set up to don for the audition. come back and let us know how it all goes. kudos to you for saying yes to doing it!
wow, isabella so grateful you've found the site and that you shared what you did. i will hop over to your post in a sec and read what you said there. but you nailed it with the trust idea…seems we trust ourselves to care for others while finding it difficult in ways to do the same wholely and completely for ourselves. ever an ongoing journey yes? so happy to know you 🙂 thanks for bein here…
interesting how this is similar to my post yesterday 🙂 i think saying yes is so important – not in the sense of being a mindless yes-woman, but in the sense of opening myself up, trusting that somehow i will find a way to “honor my own sense of what’s right for me”.
hey girlfriend..when we say yes there's often no more tug of war in our hearts. just adored hearing about the cute outfit you've set up to don for the audition. come back and let us know how it all goes. kudos to you for saying yes to doing it!
wow, isabella so grateful you've found the site and that you shared what you did. i will hop over to your post in a sec and read what you said there. but you nailed it with the trust idea…seems we trust ourselves to care for others while finding it difficult in ways to do the same wholely and completely for ourselves. ever an ongoing journey yes? so happy to know you 🙂 thanks for bein here…
interesting how this is similar to my post yesterday 🙂 i think saying yes is so important – not in the sense of being a mindless yes-woman, but in the sense of opening myself up, trusting that somehow i will find a way to “honor my own sense of what’s right for me”.
Oh, what a good topic for me right now. I'm arguing with myself about giving myself permission to do something that allows me to be filled with an infectious joy, but doesn't contribute to the household in a financial way…which we are lacking right now because of my husband's accident. I came to the conclusion that if I don't “fill my tank” with the things that give me joy, that it's hard for me to share joy with others. It's hard to give away what you don't have yourself. It's challenging to fight the feelings of guilt when taking time to do something for me. I do try to remember, though, that I have this God-given talent and I don't think it honors Him to keep that hidden or to not use it. I feel like sharing this gift is a big part of my life's purpose.
Now if I go to the audition and *don't get the part…then it's just God's way of saying there's something else to focus on right now. 🙂
Thanks for sharing your thoughtful insights on this blog, Tre. It's really a blessing to read!
Hey Amy! Sounds like you're havin a rockin morn 😉 cool cool 🙂 You had to feel awesome and wonderful for accomplishin that ecommerce store. Go you. Glad you found the blog and offered your 2 cents. Can one really organize a playroom? (coming from a former middle school teacher who would ask herself that every day when it was 7pm and i was STILL prepping/organizing!:)
Great ideas to consider. I like the idea of “baby stepping” through life. As a mother of 4 who works from home, I can often become overwhelmed by the grand scheme of things. Most days, I set small, realistic goals. For example, today started with “Revise eCommerce Store before the baby wakes up.” When I finished it, I was quite relieved. Now if I can just get the playroom organized before lunch- I'll be doing REALLY well. Thanks for the great insight!