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3 Simple Ways to Give Ourselves Permission

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Mornin’ to all. Hope you’re having a bright, sunny, warm one in your heart!

Been thinkin’ much of late about giving myself–ourselves–permission…how to say yes to our heart of hearts, or really how to even determine what that is.

How do you say yes to yourself? On the biggies? or the littles? on the stuff that makes your life have meaning?

Here’s some questions that help me weigh in on whether to give myself permission and say yes to my heart:

1. If I give myself permission and say yes to my heart, am I saying yes for me, or am I saying yes to gain approval/acceptance from someone else?

2. If I give myself permission and say yes to my heart, am I fulfilling a goal toward meeting my life purpose?

3. If I give myself permission and say yes to my heart, is this a next right step for my right now?

All of these measuring tools help me make a decision and here’s a bit of why on each:

I use the first gauge: “Am I saying yes to me for me” to really dive in and take an honest look at my heart, because, well, let’s face it: we all seek — on some level — praise and approval. And while this ought to be an outcome that makes us giddy after we’ve been true to our hearts, it can tend to factor into the decision making process at the get-go.

Truth be told, I have in the past made decisions that, although well intended, really did aim to attain someone’s approval (boss, mentor) or make someone proud (family, friends), or were decisions that I thought I should make at the time because it’s what was expected of me at that stage in my life and womanhood.

Tough to admit but there it is.

I’ve learned sometimes the hard way that when giving myself permission, it has to be to seek approval within.

How to do this? Ask yourself: Will saying yes really honor my own sense of what’s right for me?

If you don’t know how to determine if something is right for you, that’s okay too…it’s actually a topic I’ll write about in some additional posts…so stay tuned. 🙂

(or if you prefer, and you’re in need now of figuring out how to sense if something’s right for you, just shoot me an email at tre at thought by thought dot net and we can continue the conversation).


I find the second gauge a really important one: am I fulfilling a goal toward meeting my life purpose?

Trust me when I say I totally get how this one can feel looming and large.

A ‘life purpose’ can feel really heavy, huge, and long term (10-20-30 year plan, etc).

And yet, if I don’t ask myself this, then I feel too scattered and too able to be swayed by spontaneous pulls that are wonderful but maybe not in line with my needs right now.

For me, the biggies, the major decisions — like where to live and what/ how to pursue our passion–can feel at times all over the map. I’ve gotta weigh in and ask whether a choice is helping me meet my sense of my over-all life purpose, with my overal sense of what I’m hoping to achieve in my life.

(Heads up: this question alone is worth unpacking a ton more and I plan to do so in future posts.

If however you wanna talk more about trying even to figure out your life purpose, feel free to comment below or email me at tre at thought by thought dot net).


I use the third gauge: is this next step a right step for my right now? to keep me light hearted but focused.

I have to think that way in terms of baby steps, step by step, one at a time, moment to moment and day by day. Sometimes it helps me break into more manageable chunks the biggie, huge stuff I want to achieve.

Other times it helps me pace a project that is going to take a long while to accomplish.

Either way, weighing in on whether something is a right step for the right now keeps me mentally present, focused, and aware. And thinking that way keeps me really zero in to my right now what is doable, what makes most sense.


So there ya go, these are just a few questions I ask myself in order to give myself permission.

How ’bout you? What works for you? What questions do you ask yourself?

Thanks for adding your 2 cents and more and continuing the conversation.

Enjoy your day!!!

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