Our eyes met
And she smiled
But a moment before I saw her scarf
and just knew I knew her
She had her bangs up in a barret
The way I did as a child
The way she always wore her hair
even then I didn’t forget
She looked up and said “it’s you”
and I smiled
My thoughts were swiping years back I wanted to place her and sensed it had been a while
She said “are you a nurse ?
Do you work at Brigham?”
And I responded “no but I used to live right behind it”
(364 Riverway for anyone who needs that)
She said “do you work there though in that area?”
Oh If she only knew the work I’d done when I had lived there (spiritual advocacy for those asking)
“Well …”said I —still trying to connect a name and place with her sweet face —
“I used to live on Riverway and would walk my dog all around Longwood and Brigham whenever I was needing to pray …
<<I would walk up the Riverway and then go through the roads around Longwood and Harvard Medical School because there were always people walking seeking wanting healing searching for answers wanting to connect …and I’d put my brave on and go walk throughout all those hospitals>>.
She asked again “so you’re not a nurse?”
And I said “I’m a metaphysician “ hoping she wouldn’t think that was weird or worse.
“Ohhh,” she said
“You pray a lot then.”
I said, “yes.”
Phew I thought this convo is gonna bless …
because sometimes they don’t and I guess they always do but that night it felt gentle and we were in a Wegman’s grocery store before the blizzard getting food.
Ok so still am I scrolling my thoughts and memory…
I never ever forget you if we have shared a moment of real or two or 3…
She went on to show me the box of cards she was picking out.
They were Christmas cards in a box and she said “I still have messages of love to give out.”
(Oh if she only knew… my cards sit in a stack becoming happy new year ideas in fact.)
She said a few more pleasant things and then dove right in:
“So what do you actually do in metaphysical healing.”
I began to share from my heart and that is when I saw a vivid memory of her face…
We were standing on the corner of Berkeley and Appleton Streets right infront of 7-11 across from where she then resided at the YWCA…
It was prolly 2005 or 2006
I walked my Bichon Berk every day past there and always stopped for a 7-11 coffee or tea…
(no I wasn’t too green back then and prolly didn’t have my to go mug with me)
But here she was so vivid in thought
as I explained to her what I do in my work…
I don’t know really what all I said to her…
What I was recollecting with deep joy was this healing I was seeing in that moment right there…
When she lived at the Y
she was a vision of St Patty’s
Green clothing
Green beads around her neck
Green in all shades
She wore a lot of good luck charms and had always a kind word to say about different saints
(I am a bit ignorant on who and why please forgive )
But as unique as she looked
she didn’t intimidate
we would share a smile and conversation every single day
I would sometimes buy her a tea
She would sometimes pet my dog
The neigbors in the South End back then were just like that …heart to heart (prolly still are… I strive to create!and be this everywhere)
It was “my corner “she used to call it meaning God spoke to her right there
And she would watch the birds
And sing to them
Dozens of pigeons
would gather there
and not ever once did I find her staring at them weird
I had all this flood my thought as I was speaking to her then
But then that familiar pain came back
and while she responded to me
I was in my thinking praying for comfort and forgiveness
See sometimes when you have to leave a place you don’t get to hug goodbye
the people
the buildings
the corners
the streetlights
the every aspect that defines your then neighorhood
and gives you a sense of purpose and why
(A decade later I am finally understanding a tad bit more what “we live and move and have our being in God/Love” truly means … thought is our neigborhood )
And I’ve moved a ton some of you know
and sometimes had to
sometimes wanted to
And yet I carry everyone I’ve ever loved real
in my heart everywhere
and I know now we gotta give our all
whenever and whenever
and then trust that good did happen…
So as the memory was coming to me
I could tell she didn’t remember
And I didn’t want to take her back to those moments
because her thought seemed transformed
and she was having to go off and meet up with her husband…
There’s so much I wanna say here…
And I will keep it as real and brief as I can
If we don’t see someone’s real when they’re staring at the sky singing to the pigeons …
If their unique frightens us,
we may never experience the healing that comes from striving to see their true with the eyes of Love
From losing the wall of judgement and being full of love and so free …
I adored her then
And I adore her now
And she’s sharing her journey now with a sweet man who wants to partner with her
and they were just this darling New Years seasoned couple )…
I remember always seeing her with Love
I remember healing my worry of her when she would say she didn’t have money…
I remember healing fear she would be displaced because that living situation was only temporary …
And I may never ever know that power of healing thoughts and their impact wherever I am …
But every now and then God hugs me up with “Tre Tre you’ve always been where I needed you to be and as you love you live I am”
(Even in -13 degrees) 🙂
Now that may sound kinda “go me”
And I don’t mean it to…at all
It just can soemtimes feel like this pull to wanna make sense of so much
like we have to outline an have all these new year’s goals…
When really we are meant to continue on and expand how we be Love …
Imagine if that was everyone’s goal?
What I want is for more people to experience the real of humanity …the total love and what’s so everywhere and true…
May this 2018 find all of us pausing when we hear the accuser …
In our thought
Of ourselves
Of another
Of people who may seem weird
Or of peoples ideas
Or of each other
May we “wait and love more for every hate and fear no ill since God is good and loss is gain.”
(Mary Baker Eddy)