Drive…gently

Being a passenger of a speeding driver can be an enerving experience.
You feel scared, out of control, nervous about your safety, the driver’s, the fellow passengers in cars surrounding you.
You feel stuck, alone, and you want out.

Hold that feeling.

Switch scenarios.

Only this time you’re not sitting passenger.

You’re walking around in your day.

And the speeding driver are the thoughts pressuring you, condemning you, attacking you, sabotaging you.

Your innermost self feels week, vulnerable, not safe ….you want out.

Here’s the difference:
In the first scenario, you can’t physically make the driver slow down.
You can beg, plead, threaten.
You can fling open the car door even to prove your point.

But in the second scenario, you can absolutely take over.
Why?
Because in that scenario, we’re talkin thought.
And none of us have to sit there and be passengers of dictatorial condemning influences….
…Even when they come guised as our thinking.

“You suck.”
“You’re never gonna get done what you need to.”
“Why bother? Everything you ever try doesn’t pan out.”
“You’re hopeless.”
“Here ya go again, what’s the point?”

Or even more specific…say you’re getting dressed or ready to go out and all that blaring occurs:

“What’s the point?”
“You’re ugly.”
“You’re fat.”
“You look heinously gross.”
“He/she is gonna take one look at you and see a complete facade.”

Relate?

Here’s the deal: if you cave….if you let the speeding driver rule your moments in any of these scenarios where it’s a conversation in thought, you’ll get stuck in that constantly feeling unsafe mode.

But you don’t have to.
At any moment, you can shut up and out that condemning mental influence.
And it’s not only vital for that moment, but imperative to do so in order to begin to feel safe and confident about your choices in any situation, in any circumstance, on any level.

Some days I wish I had a way to record the destructive self babble that tries to stall all of us.
And then play it in some kind of open air arena so that every human on the planet would hear and see that he/she is not ever alone in this kind of thinking.

It happens to everyone.
Some are better at ignoring it than others.

Here’s some ways to actually squelch the attempts of the self babble to keep steering:

1. Be Aware. Be aware of the conversations you’re having in thought. The first step reclaiming your control of your mental steering wheel is recognizing when it’s being driven by an influence counter to your productivity.

2. Realize. Realize the derogatory influence is not your inner voice. You didn’t cause them, create them, birth them, befriend them, and you sure as heck have never consented to align with them. Period. You are under zero obligation to respond or react in any way to these derogatory influences. And let me be clear: listening to them and tolerating one iota of what they say is a mental consent…a response. You have zero responsibility to give any consent, ever. Period. It’s simply mental haze. And thus you have zero reason to feel guilty or wrong or anything negative that these thoughts are occuring.

3. Refuse to consent. It’s that simple. You recognize the voice that is derogatory. You become Joan of Arc in thought refusing to allow those influences to govern your moment. Period.It’s an adamant, assertive, defiant refusal. “No way. I’m not believing this balogne. Not for a single solitary second. And often it takes several refusals. And often it takes several moments of being willing to talk the derogatory muck down to shut it up and out. But refusing to consent is vital. It’s the refusing to continue to be passenger with the speeding driver. Essential step.

4. Refuel with gentle truths. At any given moment, you know your why. You know why you’re sitting down to blog. You know why you’re about to get ready to go out. You know why you’re striving to birth a new business. You know why you’re striving to nurture and grow a family, build stronger relationships with colleagues, nurture a better life for yourself, and on and on. You know your why. (ps, the voice that says you’re a dumb idiot who’s aimless and doesn’t know her why is one of those derogatory influences you’ve refused to consent to!). In the same moments you refuse to consent, flood and I mean FLOOD IT BABY your thoughts with your why. You know what you’re about. And even if you wanna take it as simple as just cherishing the good you are about, do that. Think about the ways you strive to see the good, to love more fully, to be more accepting, to forgive. Think about the tireless efforts you’re willing to pour into anything that would help a loved one, neighbor or a population in a desperate situation you may never meet. But flood that thought girlfriend of truths about you. It helps to squelch the derogatory self babble fully and finally.

5. Breathe and Be. After you’ve flooded thought with these truths, pause. Breathe and be. We’re all in the process of sculpting lives of meaning, lives that matter. It’s not a wham, bam thank ya mam’ kinda one day one month or one year kinda effort. It’s a life journey. And this is vital to remember because patience and compassion with our footsteps are essential.

You owe yourself permission to drive…gently.

Your safety, your ability to thrive depend that you master that self babble.

Lemme know if you want help with how.

I know you can master this thing! 🙂

Here’s to squelching that self babble once and for all and driving…gently.