In just one moment, healing self-loathing

It comes as subtle whispers, or blaring accusations…

~ the condemning critique

~ the constant comparing

~ the lingering lacking

~ the ongoing darkness and depression

~ the perpetual procrastinating

~ the ongoing onslaughts

~ the endless echoes of shame and guilt and loathing…of me or of you…

so it posits..

for it’s sneeringly aware that if guised as our own voice, we’ll be duped that much more…or so it thinks.

but yet, our deepest core knows better….

knows that maybe just maybe we are not so tending to respond to these hissings

for we awake with that even deeper yearning to be free….

and in that aha, in that inkling of a moment, inspite of the vast ocean of sensing that there’s no way one moment could possibly become a norm….

unless it could……

we pause….

and in that one same moment,

we can choose to cease listening…if just for that one second of a moment,

to that internal onslaught….

indeed, in that one precious still moment,

the volume can be turned down and the replay button turned off

in a moment

we can cling wholeheartedly to one breath….one breath free…

and in that one moment….

we can feel the gentle pull, so gentle at first of a calm caress…

until the blaring attack returns and blares we are not worthy of this for the long haul

and yet…..

when that one moment ceases…and another posits presence,

we can stand therein….right there…in this we’ll call the ‘next’ moment….

and therein try again….

to cling to calm

to sift the stillness

to hear the hovering warmth….

until yet again another blaring attack ensues…

 

but the point:

with each stand, with each moment’s stand, there is awareness…

and deepening…

of possibility

for perpetual peace….

no matter how deeply vast the sarangheti distance of possibility for it’s permanence feels.

no matter how heinous the accusation we darest not even hope for harmony for the long haul….

ALL THAT WILL EVER MATTER IS WHERE WE LEND THOUGHT FOR THAT ONE MOMENT….

inspite of the rage….

inspite of the lures…

inspite of the seeming constant condemning….

indeed…

one moment is ALL that is necessary…

~ to tune thought off the chanels that blare

~ to hold to the hope of a right now moment’s lull

~ to simply be….and be still….

…this is the true journey.

And so the questions become:

How can I have another ONE of those moments (because all it takes ever is just that one)….

How might I actually choose to sift thought and steer where to devote my attention…

just for this one moment?

And how can I trust that there will indeed be just one more moment…and then just one more…and possibly another and another….

Can it really be?

And in asking those questions and seeking their answers….

~ we just might cease the sabotage…

~ we just might stop the onslaught…

~ we just might refuse to respond with abuse, yet again…

And in doing so….

for just ONE moment….

we may well exercise our right to govern thought….and refuse to consent to the derogatory demons yet again….

and in that triumph …for just that ONE moment….

we may well begin building a new precedent…

of sifting for enduring truth

and in the sifting….

the standing….

and in the standing…

the serenity ~ ~ ~

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