What does safe look like for you and how are you creating it for yourself?

Hey friend.

Thanks for being here and opting to share some moments.

So you’ve read the title and clicked through.

And you know we’re taking a look at this question:

What comes to mind when you hear the word ‘safe’?

And how do you visualize it for your life?

If we were talking together–over the phone, chat, or in person–I’d ask you to close your eyes and think about feeling safe.

I would ask you to think about what it looks like to you.

I would ask you to think about what it feels like for you.

I would ask you to think about what you hear and sense when you think about feeling safe in your life.

And I’d probably ask you to think about what elements you need to feel safe more consistently.

So take a moment….

Go ahead.

I’m not going anywhere. 🙂

I’ll be right here.

Think about what comes to mind for you when you visualize the word ‘safe.’

. . .

Okay.

Now if we were together or over the phone, I’d have you draw some images that you think represent that qualities of feeling safe.

Maybe what you saw when you visualized what it felt like.

Maybe what you saw when you visualized what it sounded like.

And maybe you have a scrap sheet of paper nearby and wanna go ahead and draw those images.

Go ahead.

I’ll wait.

I’m right here. 🙂

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Kay. Welcome back.

Just to recap a wee little bit, what have we done?

We’ve thought about images that come to mind when we think about what safe means, what it feels like, sounds like…the whole what it represents for you,

and we took a few more moments to sketch or draw some of those images.

Kay.

You with me?

Wonderin’ what I’m gonna ask next?

Here goes:

What would it take to implement this idea of ‘safe’ more into your journey each day?

Pause.

Think.

Lemme rephrase that more simply.

What would it take to implement–as in actively express–safe more consistently in your moment by moment, hour by hour, daily walk?

You can think on that for a while.

Take as long as you need.

But whatever comes to mind, will you write it down for yourself?

Here’s the thing.

I know what I need to implement ‘safe’ on a regular basis.

I need a conviction in a sense of a governing power, a universal principle, that I’m connected to and can lean on 24/7–no matter where I am, no matter where I go, no matter if i choose to put myself in a situation or if it seems situations happen to me.  I need to know that this principle is in operation, 24/7.

And while I sometimes forget this principle is governing, I know it is, so I can tune back into it whenever my thoughts start fluttering.

But that’s me.

I’m very interested, deeply interested, to hear what you would need.

So consider, after you write it down (or record / draw/think/visualize)–however you make it viable and real to you–come back and share it here–in whatever way is simplest for you.

Either share a comment below.

Or send me an email : tre (at) thought by thought (dot) net.

Or send me a message over twitter or facebook.

What’s the point?

2 things really:

1. In having you think deeply about what you need to implement ‘safe’ into your journey more frequently, you start to engage with that possibility.

Kinda like sitting in a car and turning on the ignition.

You haven’t put it in gear yet. You haven’t touched the gas pedal.

You’ve simply turned on the car.

And it’s running.

Same in thought. When you start thinking through what you might need to implement feeling safe, you turn on the ignition of thought and begin to let your mental engine run.

2. Also, in thinking about what you need to feel safe, something may shift for you. Being open to feeling safe is one thing. Choosing to set up parameters to allow us to feel safe is another.

Think: you’re sitting in the car with the ignition on. The motor is running. Can you drive anywhere yet? Nope. You have to put the engine in gear. Now let’s say putting the engine in gear makes you nervous. Alright. Fair. But remind yourself: you are allowed to go slow. You are allowed to set the pace you need. You’ve already thought through what you need to feel safe and you have determined you are only going to drive slowly at first. You remind yourself that you can take all the time you need at that moment if pacing slowly gives you a feeling of safe.

Hear the dialogue? Hear the recognition of what you need to feel safe, owning it, and giving it to ourselves?

Think about what would happen if the second the car shifted in gear it somehow sped off into 80mph.

Thrilling for a few, not so ‘safe’ feeling for many.

So recapping:

Why are those two things important?

a. considering what you need to feel safe allows that possibility of implementation;

b. realizing those needs and acting on them may well cause right now behaviors to shift.

And why are either of those steps important?

Because…we own our thought.

It’s our most important asset.

And we can choose to defend, implement, and thus own what we need in order to ensure feeling safe.

And while my pointing this out may seem obvious, it wasn’t always obvious to me. Too often I went about my days thinking certain things should be givens and then they’re not.

I walked around for a good coupla decades thinking something should just be and then when ‘stuff happens’ contrary to what I thought should, I’d react to it.

And if that stuff jeopardized my feeling safe, which it often did, I began to walk around feeling vulnerable, scared, unsafe.

Not good.

We can’t always control what’s going to happen day in and day out.

We can control our thought about it.

Creating parameters for ourselves that help us feel safe is essential, vital, to a steady walk, a stable thought by thought journey.

And heads up ya’ll:

No one can define for you what safety should feel like.

What you need for feeling safe is your right, your individuality, your expression.

You’re not open for commentary on what you need for safety.

Maybe many will shun what you need, call it stupid, tell you ‘that’s ridiculous” or worse, attack your needs, tell you to ‘get over it’ and have you feeling they think you’re a complete idiot.

Okay, this isn’t the post where I ask you why you’re allowing those kinds of influences in your life.

And for me I’ve had those opposing influences both as people and as condemning voices within thought.

The point: owning what we need to feel safe is the priority and doing so squelches all opposing opinions.

Just like driving owns sitting still.

We are allowed to own what we need to feel safe.

We are allowed to act on what we need to feel safe.

And nothing we need is stupid, ridiculous, or something we should shut up about and get over.

See where I”m coming from?

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So why the trust fall photo above?

Thinking back, during my days as a camper and later in different professional development trainings, this was one of the activities I loathed the most.

Why?

Usually you had to ‘trust’ blindly that this group would somehow catch your fall, often a group of people that you had a limited relationship with–as in maybe you just met them or maybe you didn’t know them at all.

While it tends to be more a test of courage and winging it, ultimately I saw that why I fought this activity wasn’t so much a lack of courage (I had zero problem on the zip line or ropes coasrse or 2 mile swims or slalom water-skiing–where courage with myself was expected–so much as my own need to build up a sense of safety with others if I’m going to then choose to rely on them in trust situation.

So that was then.

Why bring this up now?

We never outgrow our need to cultivate awareness of our needs.

Doing so helps our relationship with ourselves (self awareness) and it also absolutely helps our relationship with others.

Cultivating what we need to feel safe is vital–flat out to begin to trust ourselves more and create meaningful experiences for ourselves–as well as improve how we navigate relationships we share with others and create new ones.

Give it some thought.

Holler back if you’re willing to share what you need to feel safe.

I’m grateful you’re here and taking a moment.

Til soon, be well and thanks much for investing your thoughts together.

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